Monday, December 12, 2005

Oh my god...


P1001213, originally uploaded by Vocal Shrapnel.

...it's Laura!

She has champagne and she's going for the jugular.

Thursday, December 08, 2005

"The bottle is empty...

...the sleigh has a flat..."

That lovely sentiment comes from the christmasiest of sources, Tom Waits. I dare everyone to go listen to Tom Waits and Peter Murphy's lovely christmas duet, "christmas sucks." Between that and the Streets (which is Jesse's fault in a roundabout way), things are pretty upbeat.

I'm sure it's not hurting that situation that I'm essentially done with the semester. Papers out of the way, last real class meeting in an hour... And these last classes have dragged by. I spent most of my last biology class meeting of the semester assigning two-element periodic table symbol combinations as nick names to people. See the comments, I won't bog down the post with a long list.

Or any further writing.

MUSIC: the streets: blinded by the lights

Wednesday, November 30, 2005

"...and I can't sing christmas songs...

...or decorate a christmas tree or leave water out for rudolph 'cause there's something wrong with me..."

Tis the season, as made evidence by the ten foot christmas tree that fell on my dad and by the muppet christmas carol. But before christmas, as my good friend Jesse seems brutally aware of, we must finish the semester. That means, for me at least, a final speech, this one persuasive and knocked out tonight (actual sample slide:


SO, WHAT'S SO BAD ABOUT CANCER?

(thought you'd like that) After that there's a critique and portfolio and a paper and some exams. Some have it easier than others, and by that I mean that I've got frightfully little, really, to do.

Thanksgiving was a triumph of gluttony.

Sunday night, Geoffrey's last Asheville-hurrah involved mariachis. Pete and I failed to defeat two Eastern European ladies in pool, despite the fact that their actual skill was hampered by the crappiest cues the world has ever seen.

Afterwards Pete gave me all his sangria while we agreed that the "Marley and Marley" song in Muppet Christmas Carol may be the pinnacle of human achievment.

Malcolm took me to the wafflehouse this weekend, too. Being broke is acceptable when you have friends that want to see you fed and drunk.

MUSIC: jacob and robert marley: marley and marley

Wednesday, November 09, 2005

"Parents: If you encounter teenagers who say they liked this movie...

...do not let them date your children."

Mr. Roger Ebert said this at the conclusion of his review of Resident Evil: Apocolypse. And yet, there is a third Resident Evil film in the works. It's almost finished. It'll be out by valentine's day.

The year is ending, and great movies will be coming out soon. In the rush that always happens at the end of the year, all the oscar contenders will be coming out, and to keep myself on an even keel, perhaps, I've been looking at all the awful things about to happen to a screen near you.

Paul W.S. Anderson. Not Paul Thomas Anderson, not Wes Anderson, but Paul W.S. Anderson has announced two movies, one of which, I'm not kidding, is called Deathrace 3000. Hollow Man 2 is also in the works. This time Christian Slater will be an invisible man with nothing better to do than molest women. No word on invisible penis presence. And we already know about Saw 2.

You remember how Ben Affleck kept chugging along, putting out nightmare after ungodly nightmare last year? Well... there are three Affleck pictures in the works, but I'm personally hoping they're not all abysmal. Phantoms.

Plus, there's a Tom Arnold movie around the bend for Christmas. Oh, and as these things seem to come in threes, three Kevin Costner pictures are on the way. Watch out! In a related story, three Jennifer Lopez movies as well.

Bittersweetly, though there will be yet another Fast and the Furious, there has been no activity on the part of Rob Cohen since Stealth. Perhaps he learned his lesson.

And watch out for this guy... the only reason he doesn't get a mention by name is that he hasn't done enough that I've seen for me to hate him. yet.

So as you walk in to watch your Harry Potters and your Goodnight and Goodlucks and your Ice Harvests and your Squid and the Whales in the coming months, remember that just around the corner is another videogame film gone awry (not kidding: DOA).

MUSIC: tori amos: lovesong (cure cover)

Friday, November 04, 2005

"CATS," Death said,


Monroe, originally uploaded by Vocal Shrapnel.

"CATS ARE NICE."

Wednesday, November 02, 2005

"Teacher thinks that I sound funny...


"...from your friends..."
Originally uploaded by Vocal Shrapnel.
...but she likes the way you sing..."

No offense to Taylor, but I don't think that picture was getting anyone to look at Flickr. This one will draw in fans from all over the world, eager to see more of the crazy adventures of Andrew and Jesse.

What will those characters get up to this time?

MUSIC: guided by voices: strawdogs

Tuesday, November 01, 2005

HALLOWEEN!

Now that I've got your attention, go check out more of europe pictures at Flickr.

I make no apologies for Taylor.

MUSIC: bush: letting the cable sleep

Wednesday, October 26, 2005

Monday, October 24, 2005

"...the color of fire..."

"...I look at the trees grow older..."

It just got below freezing and I want it to keep it up. The wind and leaves and me getting to wear my trenchcoat and not sweat. I want it to snow.

Lately the smiles have come from seeing 8 by 12 prints of Brno. I'm running out of paper.

For Halloween I will be the Man With No Name. Black Jeans and Cigarillos ahoy.

I depressed myself this weekend writing pages and pages of my saddest screenplay. Seasonally, shouldn't I be working on the zombie movie?

Print of the day: Forest of Andrew Ghost Twins (working title)

MUSIC: clinic: the majestic

Tuesday, October 18, 2005

"The streets aren't for dreaming now..."

"...Good night to the street sweepers, the night watchmen flame-keepers, and goodnight Matilda too..."

I can't get "Waltzing Matilda" by Tom Waits out of my head.

I'm giving a speech on Survival Czech (i.e. how to order beer and tell people you don't speak Czech) in a few weeks. The only reason why I mention it is that I just got out of my absurdly simple, once-weekly public speaking class.

Someone tell me not to sleep so much.

MUSIC: tom waits: waltzing matilda

Monday, October 10, 2005

"...I write music for soundtracks now..."


"...I strut my stuff..."
Originally uploaded by Vocal Shrapnel.
Flickr has a limit, and it resets with the calendar month. Guess what, it's barely October, and I used it all up. I could only put 9 of the 50-something pictures I scanned in this weekend up. It was hard to narrow them down. Maybe I'll sneak a few up on the blog while I wait for november. I also have some pictures from this weekend which will not be seeing the light of day any time very soon.

But go look at the crazy contraption I made Jesse and Andrew get into! There's a lot of those pictures.

Also, Kasia, Michael, and Richard are waiting until november to get posted. Plus, there's more of Traci, Jess, Prague, and Olomouc waiting to get the "I got photographed by Jef and am posted on his website" club.

It's a good club.

MUSIC: guided by voices: ex-supermodel

Holy God, Don't ever live in a dorm!


For the love of god, this thing is walking around the doors of the bathroom stalls! That's a lovely welcome back to the dorm, I can tell you!

So anyway, the rest of europe will be up within twenty-four hours. Also, fall break approacheth. Dig.

MUSIC: polaris: hey sandy (laura marie's fault)

Tuesday, October 04, 2005

With all that black and white... We were getting a little too classy here

So the weekend is up, and all of Brno is in a set. Trust me, it's findable, so if you haven't checked it yet, get on it. You have no excuse.

This weekend was Jake's 25th and Pete's been in a state. Check his site for all the sweaty details.

Posting all these pictures makes me feel entirely justified in not writing much of anything.

Now if you'll excuse me, I have an acute gout attack to get back to.

MUSIC: simples minds: don't you (forget about me)

PS. be careful with your right limbs, they're suffering this week all 'round.

Monday, October 03, 2005

"...nobody's calling, the scenery's whistlin'..."

...and I know that somewhere there's snow..."

For some reason I titled all of these pictures as more or less relevant song lyrics.

Incidentally, there will be no prize for identifying the song, but I will be impressed.

MUSIC: architecture in helsinki: tiny paintings

"I swear your eyes moved..."

the first wave of the czech invasion is here! More would be here if it weren't nearly five a.m. already. Keep your eyes on the prize, gang, because I've got a lot more from Pete's negative scanner this weekend, and there's always another weekend.

Pictures from this weekend and something more thoughtful wordwise will be appearing.

MUSIC: the iceboxers: photograph of you

Tuesday, September 27, 2005

"The men were here to get your Belgian things...

...they'll store them for you in an airplane hanger. There's guys in biohazard suits, mud caking on their rubber boots, they've come to keep your pretty things from danger..."

Fiber paper has to rinse for half an hour before you let it dry. The system here involves an intricate plastic tank with small, clear plastic vertical holds, like a mapchest on its back. The effect is, after hours in the dark room, printing, testing, breathing deep chemicals that ought not be breathed, singing alone along to Oingo Boingo, glorious. Sitting, reading Gould's Book of Fish (thanks Pete) with Andrew, Jesse, Jess, Glen, and the snows of Brno staring out of plastic and water at me... It's a good nostalgia.

There will be pictures on Flickr pretty swiftly. Carla got printed, and I find that I only print the good times. It's not even purposeful... as a kinda-photographer, it would be a waste of time to make prints of pictures that aren't that good, and the ones that are good enough are days in parks and nights out and that first snow fall and my days in Prague with Traci. The wave of mutilation and the self-portaits of depressed me in the dark bathroom at five a.m.

just aren't worth printing, purely aesthetically.

Weird how that works out.

MUSIC: the mountain goats: your Belgian things

Tuesday, September 20, 2005

"I've got a fever...

...and the only perscription is Agnes."

Cats and Kittens, welcome aboard your latest member. Also, note the presence of Kelsey, Jameykay, Pete, Malcolm, and another Jess. This place is getting crowded.

MUSIC: the unband: geez Louise

Monday, September 19, 2005

"rational self interest"

Today in microeconomics I started planning a mix cd. Now I've completed it. A lot of this is a joke, but it totally rocks.

1. Elvis Costello - Welcome to the Working Week
2. Pedro the Lion - Moving Units
3. Bloc Party - Price of Gas
4. Bush - Come Down (acoustic)
5. BT - Never Gonna Come Back Down
6. Liz Phair - Money (that's what I want)
7. Beulah - Sunken Treasure
8. Elliott Smith - A Distorted Reality is now Necessary to be Free
9. Deathcab for Cutie - Champagne from a Paper Cup
10. Mates of State - Halves and have-nots
11. Eels - World of Shit
12. Cap'n Jazz - Hey Ma, I hafta Choke on These?
13. Guided by Voices - I am Produced
14. Radiohead - Fitter, Happier...
15. Desaparecidos - $$$$$
16. Fugazi - Cashout
17. Regina Spektor - Poor Little Rich Boy
18. Cursive - Art is Hard
19. Jane's Addiction - Been Caught Stealin'
20. Pedro the Lion - Simple Economics
21. Crooked Fingers - New Drink for the Old Drunk
22. Les Savy Fav - Yawn, Yawn, Yawn
23. Ben Folds Five - The Battle of Who Could Care Less
24. John Altman - Suicide is Painless

So enjoy.

PS. Do not follow the link from Andrew's Comment on my last post.

Wednesday, September 14, 2005

"...well it's sticks and stones and broken homes...

...that taught us how to smile..."

Today marks the first anniversary of my arrival in Brno. I came in on a bus with a year's worth of luggage and no idea where I was going or what I was doing. The indian summer of the Czech Republic laughed at me as I hauled my sweaty ass all over town, dragging bulging duffle bags over cobblestones, aimlessly. When I found someone who spoke english I would ask where Masaryk was and they would either get confused or laugh.

But I got through that, and now it's been a year since I was that kid. I'm goutier.

People ask me if I had a good time in europe and I have to pause and give them a long, level look. I might glance down at the scar on my hand or look at my feet or just close my eyes for a second. "Good time?" I had a time. And I think it's safe to say I'm in a better place now than I was then. Not literally, Brno kicks the shit out of Cullowhee.

But when I arrived I'm not sure I felt confident in naming a friend I had in the world. Certainly if I defined friend pretty loosely, I could have come up with a few... but I'm past that now. I'm hardened from the battle that was Europe (for some reason, but it was a battle) and I feel almost frustratingly capable. And almost overwhelmingly loved.

Everyone, you know who you are. Thanks.

It's been a year.

"This is an adventure." -Steve Zissou

MUSIC: the bens: just pretend

Tuesday, September 13, 2005

Smoke up, Johnny!


Smoke up, Johnny!
Originally uploaded by Vocal Shrapnel.
Posting this has nothing to do with today... Well, maybe a little.

There are a lot of things I'd rather be doing right now, and this picture represents several of them.

No, not Malcolm, you sick freak. Though hanging out with Malcolm would be one of those things.

Mostly, though, I just couldn't take looking at my sunken-eyes self anymore.

so now I can look at something else when I swing by to check for comments.

MUSIC: yo la tengo: cherry chapstick

Monday, September 12, 2005

let me make it abundantly clear...

...that I chose to display this picture entirely for the sake of the American Gods reference.

"We're going to San Francisco... the flowers in your hair are optional."

Look at my weekend at Flickr. I dare you.

MUSIC: ram jam: black betty

"I live in a wheel...

...where everyone steals, but when we rise it's like strawberry fields..."

God love bush, but those lyrics are, to put it gently, ludicrous.

And I did some sneaking and found some MySpace for some more asheville cats, so they're linked now whether they like it or not.

Pictures from the weekend are brewing.

MUSIC: casiotone for the painfully alone: tonight was a disaster

Monday, September 05, 2005

"...I know I won't be leaving here...


hat, originally uploaded by Vocal Shrapnel.

...with you..."

So here's the poor documentation of the A-ville party on Saturday night.

Tuesday, August 30, 2005

I asked my sandwich wrapper...

...to name a really, really great band, and this is what it had to say.

Sunday night Shleeve went and bought a whole lot of horrible, disgusting tamarind candy. With it we went to Little Venice and had an endurance trial. To the victor goes the Darth Tater. Pictures on Flickr.

I bought reels and paper today. My wallet has a dollar in it.

MUSIC: the mountain goats: dance music

Friday, August 26, 2005

"somewhere through a thousand dreams...

...a dragonfly descends with just a whisper, 'i'm lonlier than god,'..."

Ladies and gentleman, college is a bust. Seventh floor room with one working fan. Shleeve and I went to Wal-mart, the only store in town, to get another, and they were sold out. Good planning, Walton family. Thanks a lot.

So photography will cost a fortune, and my old job, near as I can tell, doesn't exist. None of my other classes are worth mentioning for anything. My film class is dropped due to the incredible jack-ass-pretention (sp) of the professor.

I fucking dare you to look on IMDB under Jack Sholder and tell me if this guy has the right to assume that, since he's clearly in possession of all movie knowledge, no one else can possibly have any. Trying to bribe people to do the class work with an autographed copy of your magnum opus Nightmare on Elm Street II after insulting their intelligence nonstop for three hours and keeping them forty minutes late just doesn't fly, buddy.

So life's a bowl of cherries. and women still largely hate me.

send lawyers, guns and money.

MUSIC: mountain goats: something here will eventually have to explode

Monday, August 22, 2005

Thanks, Nate.

J.E.F.F.R.E.Y.: Journeying Electronic Facsimile Fabricated for Rational Exploration and Yelling

Jesse must be appeased!


Up close
Originally uploaded by Vocal Shrapnel.
with an update.

I went to work for my last dress-up night and forgot to charge the camera before hand... so I got about five pictures worth using rather than the twenty-odd I had intended.

This is Malcolm. He was my boss, and more importantly he is my homie. Following the link will take you to other homies of mine in the A-ville vicinity.

So the bad news is that I got my package return to sendered and I'm furious. So should you be, Mr. Malcovsky. I have some kind of postal service curse, but I'm UPSing it tomorrow. Also, classes start on Wednesday, which is bad news only in so far as I'm registered for a bunch of whack shit and have to move in between then and now.

The good news, however, is that I'm no longer a waiter, and in the impending days I'll be able to develop all my Europe pictures.

The next few days will be harrowing and obnoxious, but after that, I'll be back in the college swing of things, and that will be swell.

In a related story, all my czech compatriots should go to www.budvar.cz and download the screensaver. It's like drinking an ice cold budvar every time your screensaver is activated, except it's with your eyes and doesn't get you drunk or make you sing.

MUSIC: oh canada

Wednesday, August 10, 2005

Past life?

In a Past Life...

You Were: A Genius Poet.

Where You Lived: Spain.

How You Died: Dysentery.

Tuesday, August 09, 2005

"the delicate balance has shifted...

...Put on your gloves and your black pumps: let's pretend the fog has lifted. Now you see me, now you don't. Now you say you love me; pretty soon you won't. If we get our full three score and ten we won't pass this way again, so kiss me with your mouth. Turn the tire's toward the street and stay sweet."

Tonight the fog is zombie-movie thick and I am not dead. congested and overworked and underpaid and less than thrilled, yes, but alive.

The pressure on the sinuses doesn't help the general other pressures about. No one is being ignored save my computer. Andrew, it seems the pathetic package I sent has gotten lost in the mail. I'm rather used to that happening, but I have a better one about to ship, and there are copies of all the cds that were in the first contained therein.

Jesse, schedules permitting I'll see you soon, but schedules don't permit so much lately.

My brain wants out of my head.

"get me away I'm dying."

MUSIC: the mountain goats: Dilaudid

Tuesday, August 02, 2005

"I'm maladjusted and clever...

...the greatest Smiths fan ever."

It apparently helps me to post when I'm left alone and seem to have developed a hatred of television.

Everyone pirate casiotone for the painfully alone. If you can, buy the cds, but odds are you can't. if you want a sample, send me a mailing address.

So Saturday I orchestrated dress up day, and we all looked great at Little Venice. I made a lot. It was intended to impress a girl who doesn't like me. Chicks hate me, for future reference.

Tonight was MST3K and I'm the last man standing. Being 6'3 200lbs comes in handy arguably.

MUSIC: casiotone for the painfully alone: toby take a bow

Thursday, July 28, 2005

look, it's my eye!


look, it's my eye!
Originally uploaded by Vocal Shrapnel.
Holy crap has it ever been a long time since I posted... Here's the story in brief. my car exploded a lot, I partied too much, hurricanes hit, I got contacts.

This is a picture of my eye as taken by a terrifying machine at a place called Tunnel Vision. They gave me contacts. God gave me astigmatism, so now I worship Tunnel Vision. all hail.

Oak Ridge kids, if I haven't exhausted your patience... if you still, in fact, read this thing, I'm coming. I'm thinking Tuesday maybe... we'll see how the schedule goes.

And of course I may get trampled at the street festival this weekend.

MUSIC: aimee mann: save me

Sunday, July 10, 2005

Pittsburgh: City of Lost Children!


Pittsburgh
Originally uploaded by Vocal Shrapnel.
I'm back! And there are pictures up and I'll update and it'll be awesome... but right now the pictures are as awesome as it gets.

And, this is key, and it's for Jesse. Driving back I was listening to the Mountain Goats... it was dope, but I was tired. So I switched over to a CD I had burned that started with Hip Hop Phenomenon. Within one minute of the cd switch, we passed the Girls Gone Wild "party bus."

It's all in the soundtrack. welcome back to the states, sir.

Wednesday, June 29, 2005

"breathe into my hand...

...I'll cup it like a glass to drink from..."

That quote is connected to my post somehow. Watch for it, I'll get there eventually.

So Friday at noon family shows up. That kid looming over the cake in the picture below... He's one of 'em. Already young kids mean not getting to sleep until noon, right? So On top of that I've got double shifts all weekend. Lots of fun, huh? So here's where my ass gets kicked:

Saturday is Pete's birthday. I work until 10, and I know Pete has to get up for work at 5. So to save time and allow him a little more sleep, I have this brilliant idea of buying lots of beer and wine and taking it home to drink there. But Pete doesn't know. So Malcolm and I decide to go get him at his other work... but first we have to get rid of those beers we opened. Beer number three for each of us is gone in under a minute, and off we go.

At the other restaurant, the Grape Escape, the owner of Little Venice (where Malcolm and I work) offers to buy us drinks. we accept, but we have to drink fast. Really fast. The night continues a pace and I go to work at 11 the next morning.

That night is Doug's last night. We go out for drinks... we buy a bunch more and go home. Repeat process but add Doug and MST3K dvds.

I go into work at noon after two nights of drinking until 5. I was partied out.

Now, tonight I saw Romero's latest zombie masterpiece. Well... it's not. a masterpiece, I mean. There're some sweet zombie scenes, but it's a little depressing when the best developed character in a movie is among the undead.

But there was a brief lesbian scene in the film, and the song quoted earlier is from a much longer lesbian scene in the seminal lesbian film But I'm a Cheerleader. Check it out... I told you it related.

MUSIC: trembling blue stars: letter never sent

Monday, June 27, 2005

This is a knife!


This is a knife!
Originally uploaded by Vocal Shrapnel.
Goddamn weekend. Partied out.

MUSIC: joan of arc: a party able model of

Thursday, June 23, 2005

Who wants wings?


P1000132
Originally uploaded by Vocal Shrapnel.
look at this picture and revel in it's vileness... and then go look at pictures from Shleeve's birthday. I switched over to Flickr because it's prettier and therefore better... just like Pete.

Tuesday, June 21, 2005

"destination venus,

..more than darkness lies between us -- twenty million miles of weakness... human bleakness..."

So my ass hasn't been kicked like this in a movie theater since Undertow.

All right, so it's taken over a month, but by god I have pictures up from Brno. The limited number of albums I'm given forces me to consolidate, so go here and look past the first ten or so. it starts with a lovely sunset... then it gets less lovely. Everyone was a little intoxicated and... well.. thank god I was holding the camera.

So I'm going to pittsburg for some absurd reason on the third. Someone's having a cookout that I'll miss. It's a crime.

In other news, the gout is mad in check. I'm not supposed to hear from it again for something like a decade if I keep up with the running around and eating nothing good.

And pretty soon somebody's gonna be... somewhere... um... I think maybe there should be... I dunno... an epic party or something. I am the master of subtilty...

and spelling.

MUSIC: the reindeer section: sting

holy crap! If you've noticed, the Corey Feldman link doesn't work, but type it in and check it out. This is just one example of the treasures buried there. Posted by Hello

"we're not so great...

...cause we're of normal height..."

I promise a real post will be here as soon as my computer stops being an ass, but for now, I just had to say that I only just noticed what I'm linked as on Jess's page.

totally sweet.

Sunday, June 19, 2005


Look, A package from Malcovsky... what could be in it...? Posted by Hello

A Super Troopers bottle opener?! I'm the coolest kid on the block now! Posted by Hello

Saturday, June 18, 2005


I bought this thing, so it's getting test run on Pete's self portrait from back in the day. Posted by Hello

Friday, June 17, 2005

look at me cave in to peer pressure













Your #1 Match: INTP




The Thinker

You are analytical and logical - and on a quest to learn everything you can.
Smart and complex, you always love a new intellectual challenge.
Your biggest pet peeve is people who slow you down with trivial chit chat.
A quiet maverick, you tend to ignore rules and authority whenever you feel like it.

You would make an excellent mathematician, programmer, or professor.


Your #2 Match: ENTP




The Visionary

You are charming, outgoing, friendly. You make a good first impression.
You possess good negotiating skills and can convince anyone of anything.
Happy to be the center of attention, you love to tell stories and show off.
You're very clever, but not disciplined enough to do well in structured environments.

You would make a great entrpreneur, marketing executive, or actor.


Your #3 Match: INFP




The Idealist

You are creative with a great imagination, living in your own inner world.
Open minded and accepting, you strive for harmony in your important relationships.
It takes a long time for people to get to know you. You are hesitant to let people get close.
But once you care for someone, you do everything you can to help them grow and develop.

You would make an excellent writer, psychologist, or artist.


Monday, June 13, 2005

"the reports of my death...

...have been greatly exaggerated."

But I am finding myself somewhat unwilling to use the computer for anything other than the assloads of typing I've been doing.

My room is tiny, but it won't get clean. I deposited my first check today. I shaved and I washed clothes.

We have new, all black uniforms at work. I think it's creepy, but it seems to work well. So Saturday, being a big night usually, I bust out my new black gothic over the top shirt. It's a little shiny, and striped and has cuffs with cufflinks. That and a tastefully gold tie. I was well dressed, far be it from me to claim to have been looking good, but I was well dressed...

And I made next to nothing.

The best I got was a pair of gay stereotypes eying me and asking if everyone was supposed to be wearing a tie or if I was "just a freak or something?" Like, OMG.

But seriously...

My stepbrother called me around nine and told me it was an emergency. I took the phone outside beginning to be concerned, and he said he desperately needed to know what movie to rent. Asshole.

I told him real genius, and he got it, but he also got the 5 obstructions, so we watched that until he and our guest started to fall asleep. Two Obstructions down. Bring it on, Lars Von Trier.

MUSIC: viva voce - let's bend light

Friday, June 03, 2005


Silly hat day. and those are screwdrivers you see. Posted by Hello

Wednesday, June 01, 2005

Cara is up by 2,

but victory is not imminent. But she already wins because she's reading Pirates! In an Adventure with Scientists! A Novel right now.

I had the size sticker on my pants all day at work. Perhaps my small tips were reflecting the fact that I can clearly afford new pants, so must not need them too badly.

MUSIC: the sugarcubes: traitor

Tuesday, May 31, 2005

It's like launchcast, only without skipping...

Itunes is consolodating and set on random. That means that it's playing whatever, and I can't skip. It's out of my control!

green day - brain stew
interpol - say hello to the angels
the decembrists - leslie anne devine
pinback - starfish
oingo boing - weird science
crooked fingers - there's a blue light

that is all

I had some brilliant plan...

...of what to write here last night, but I fell asleep instead. I don't remember what it was.

So it's my job to make sure that people get served. Sometimes the money's even okay. The summer is what it always is here, and I'm fighting. Today I learned how to run another register, which makes something like a dozen throughout my sordid little job history.

My brother has an ipod and I have itunes and I want to have a car. Bandana Matt is still illegal, and until he gets his documents in order, he's not allowed off the ranch. I speak in idiocy when it's this late and I've been working all day, but at least I'm even trying to post.

Today was Katie's birthday, and she's sixteen. Thanks to NC law, however, you won't have to stay off the roads until September. Pete decided to usher her into the world of nigh-adulthood by signing her card 'eat my ass - Pete.' Ah, maturity.

Once again I got her a pair of books for the occassion, one she can appreciate now, and one (hopefully) later. No Rushdie this year... probably because of the rush in ye olde barnes and noble.

So I give up. Tomorrow maybe I'll do something more clever, as I have the day off.

Welcome to the US of A, Malcovsky.

First thing I bought with my work money: the soft bulletin

MUSIC: jet by day: worldwide

Friday, May 27, 2005

okay. We're back.

I told the blogger authorities that my blog is dead and no one cares, and by the time they responded, it was back.

Hey, look at this. stupidity, it seems, is worldwide.

And I pirated an Alan Partridge and I bought tiny little pads on which to write orders. I have an apron. I get tips.

word for the day is austensibly.

MUSIC: juliana hatfield: cool rock boy

Tuesday, May 24, 2005

what the hell...

...is going on with my blog?

MUSIC: casiotone for the painfully alone: secretest crush

Someone stole the mops,

then they trained me for waitering, then half the kitchen staff quit. I've got a good feeling.

And speaking of good feelings, here's what my joint horoscope is with myself.

"Robin Hood had his band of Merry Men, and right now, so should you (although more diverse, of course). You're not robbing anyone either -- instead, you're all about having good times, and you and your friend aren't shy about spreading the wealth (of fun), either. Well, you can't party forever ... things have to wind down at some point, don't they? No way! Keep it going. When you start feeling sleepy, don't stop the proceedings. Just switch gears -- throw an old-fashioned slumber party instead."

So it seems I'm really spreading on the joy hanging out with my good friend... and that friend and I shared a name... Me!

Cara's winning. She's probably already a better sailor than you, and odds are if you're a regular reader of my work here, she's probably cuter, too... so at least attempt to prove your superiority in guessing songs on my playlist based on tiny, tiny lyric quotations.

Oh, and I was wrong about that digital camera working now. I am accursed.

MUSIC: the arcade fire: I'm sleeping in a submarine

PS-I know I'll have to justify that cuteness statement to some of my cuter readers. Let me just say that I operate under the assumption that most (probably not by a large margin) of my readers are dudes, and therefore, from my heterosexual perspective, she'd automatically be cuter than you. So that's why odds are she's cuter than you. at least that's all I'm saying about it here and now. this hole is deep enough.

Sunday, May 22, 2005

take two

all my loyal fans will recall the old contest. Well, that one was swept, if you'll recall, by the lovely Miss Traci White. The songs from that one, however, were drawn from a single MP3 CD. So now I shall repeat the competition with my actual computer and therefore my actual playlists at my finger tips.

The rules, once again, are:

Step 1: Get your playlist together, put it on random, and play.
Step 2: Pick your favorite lines from the first 15 songs that play.
Step 3: Post and let everyone you know guess what song the lines come from.
Step 4: Underline the songs when someone guesses correctly. Mine have ***.

1 *** Jess *** Yeah Yeah Yeahs -Pin
"things are feeling thin..."
2 ***Cara*** Galaxie 500 - when will you come home
"...watching TV all alone, watching Kojak on my own..."
3
"and you're trying to show it but you can't have it"
4 ***Jess*** sleater-kinney - god is a number
"answer me with industry"
5 *** Cara *** Ben Folds Five - Kate
"her mix tape's a masterpiece"
6
"I know a puppy who walked from Kentucky. Made to East Virginia by dawn. He had seventeen ideas in his head"
7
"do something pretty while you can, don't be a fool."
8 *** Cara *** Weezer - The Sweater Song
"watch me unravel..."
9 *** Cara *** Doors - People are Strange (Bonus points for guessing it was the Echo and the Bunnymen cover.)
"streets are uneven when you're down"
10
"Her eyes are dark just like mocha java; she turns my insides into molten lava."
11 ***Jess*** eels - last stop: this town
"they don't know how to let you in and I can't let you out."
12
"I'm sleeping today so I can wake in your arms tonight."
13
"maybe ice capades or maybe even charades"
14
"and I'm leery, loaded up" (these lyrics are awful and incomprehensible)
15
"my mirror's reflection is you looking coquet and smirking"

and good luck. To us.

MUSIC: architecture in helsinki: scissors paper rock

Friday, May 20, 2005

crooked rain,

crooked rain.

Say something encouraging.

I would like to thank George Lucas for finally delivering a star wars movie. Despite popular rumor he hasn't directed a star wars film since 1977, and he hasn't been involved in making one for at least 20 years. So thanks a lot, big guy. Wookies rule.

To all my homies on the far east side, can we hear a word or two about how this prodigy thing went off.

To my other homies, I'll have money and a car sometime in the nearish future, promise.

To all my homies: speaking of car, should I opt for Bandana Matt for $12 or Nameless Caprice for $13.50. For that price, the third option would be to buy both and join them in some horrendous breaking-the-laws-of-nature sort of way.

To all the girls I... eh, forget it, that is a new level of lame, even for me. I apologize. Sepuku is clearly my only option for this shame.

MUSIC: the rain AND casiotone for the painfully alone

Tuesday, May 17, 2005

I thought...

...we were beyond this, but clearly I was wrong.

I ate at a place yesterday that did not serve french fries. It did not serve potatoes fried in the french style, even. It served freedom fries. Seriously. On the menu, right under the big-ass eagle and the american flag.

This restuarant has two locations: myrtle beach and high point.

I don't know what to say beyond that.

And if you actually looked at the pictures I put up from the weekend, I'm really, really sorry. I did discover that my digital camera, shitty though it is, has not fully died. Pictures of a depressing quality will ensue.

All the better to wow you in a month or so when I get my photo lab time in.

MUSIC: tenacious d: karate

Sunday, May 15, 2005

Inappropriately named cities, take one.

High Point.

Geographically middle of the road with an elevation of squat, High Point is the former furniture capital of the world. It sports a putt putt and a walmart and is not all together a delightful center of culture and entertainment.

MUSIC: the tv guide channel

Thursday, May 12, 2005

Diagnosis: Gout

seriously.

music: the pixies: dig for fire

Wednesday, May 11, 2005

Okay, I know...

...everyone's seen this by now, but for the love of god and all that is holy...

Further idiocy. It seems that nearby Haywood County has drawn national attention. A local preacher apparently drove people out of his church when they expressed an intention to not vote for Dubya. Now apparently there's national attention about this, and it's hurting tourism in the area so badly that the local government is stepping in. By the way, tourism in Haywood county...?

And the weather man explained why it was hotter in some places today by saying "It was hotter there today because there must have been some... some hotter weather there." JTFC!

music: beulah: calm go the wild seas
The Hub
Category I - The Hub

You're a 'people person'. Networking runs in your
blood. Consequently, you can move through most
social circles with ease.


What Type of Social Entity are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

Tuesday, May 10, 2005

It's 12:21, time for...

...my breakfast of champions. That's right, three cups of coffee and lots of aspirin. But at least I have the luxery of having english-language TV on to be ignored in the background.

The good news is that my 'give me a job' cleaning up of myself has been successful. I will wait the hell out of some tables and I'll be working with Pete and Shleeve. Note that none of the things in that last sentence are described in either a positive or negative way. Time will tell.

But on the plus side I am pirating in high style all up in this internet. And I have a dryer I can use.

MUSIC: mary prankster: art fag bastard

Monday, May 09, 2005


I got a haircut, now give me a job! Posted by Hello

pop quiz hot shot

you thought you were going to see a movie. When it turns out that it's sold out you find yourself in a bar. You have a beer and a sandwich. someone offers you most of their drink and offers to buy you one. What do you do?

In flight entertainment: Ray, Lemony Snickett, Hotel Rwanda, Six Feet Under, the Simpsons, Massive Attack Album.

Fly US Air.

MUSIC: owls: everyone is my friend

Saturday, May 07, 2005


...leaving on a prague train... don't know when i'll be back again... Posted by Hello

Living and dying in a Red Psalm world

History must answer to man. As a statement of philosophical import it is unimpeachable, but as the topic of an essay it is, at first glance, frighteningly vague. It strikes one, at first, as being akin to having as a topic Life, the Universe, and Everything. Naturally the phrase is meant to indicate something terrifically broad and not the Douglas Adams novel of the same name. Despite the overwhelming nature of the assigned task, however, it is best to simply get to it.

The first issue to be considered is the fact that this class is on Eastern European Cinema. There is a limiting influence imposed on the broad bounds of the assignment already. History must answer to man in the context of Eastern European Cinema. What that means, exactly, will take further examination. One could, if desperate or simply procrastinating, type that essay prompt into a search engine on the internet. Say a student finds himself idly looking around amazon.com for potential Christmas gifts when he suddenly remembers this essay topic. Typing in “history must answer to man,” he finds that it is a book by Graham Petrie on Hungarian Cinema. Eureka! Here’s a connection.

Having found the book, and having read the book, however, are two different things. But there must be some logic behind the assignment if someone could write a whole book under that title about the films of just one Eastern European country. So this hypothetical student must then ask himself “why would Graham Petrie call his book about Hungarian films that?”

Well, perhaps, hypothetical student, there is a great deal about the portrayal and reaction to the history of Hungary found in the works of Hungarian filmmakers.

“Yes, but perhaps it was originally called ‘Hungarian movies plain and simple’ and his editor made up that ‘history’ thing on a whim because he thought it would sell more books.”

We’re going to have to assume that hypothesis is simply wrong or we’ll never get anywhere. Now, if we examine my theory, perhaps we can find a Hungarian filmmaker who deals with and confronts Hungarian history in his films. Of course we can, Miklos Jancso. Here is a filmmaker whose film Red Psalm is about revolution and Socialism and involves all kinds of symbolic acts that cannot actually happen. Yes, my imaginary friend, I think we have a topic.

According to Istvan Nemeskurty, one can look at Jancso’s films in order of their chronological occurrence rather than shooting date and have a fairly consistent portrait of the past one hundred and fifty years of Hungarian history. “In fact,” Nemeskurty points out, “even the heroes of all the films seem one person: a young man about twenty or thirty years of age who appears again and again, almost continuing, perfecting his previous life” (Nemeskurty 20). The Round Up takes place around eighteen forty-eight, Red Psalm, which will be discussed more thoroughly, takes place at the end of the nineteenth century, The Red and the White takes place in World War One, and Silence and Cry takes place in the closing hours of World War Two.

Most of Jancso‘s films are fairly heavily concerned with Hungary and Hungarians as they cope with larger world events, most especially with the relationship between Hungary and Russia. Red Psalm, however, does not deal with this particular relationship. Set in the eighteen nineties, Red Psalm is about a pasant uprising against the Hapsburg empire. The peasants are socialists, reflecting Jancso’s personal opinions, and the story that is portrayed, though certainly not factual, still serves as a comment on history: making history answer to man.

The peasants first rise against the local authorities, singing and refusing to give their grain over to the constables. The soldiers move to take the grain by force, but are shamed into giving up their weapons by the women of the revolutionary group. Seeing that the soldiers have been shamed the the point of neutrality, the men of the group attempt to convince them to join, but only one is willing to listen. He joins in with one of the peasant dances, but soon other soldiers drive him away. He throws down his pistol in disgust and an officer picks it up and shoots one of the peasant women with it. When the cadet moves to her aid, he too is shot and killed.
Immediately thereafter he is brought back to life by the very peasant woman he had been trying to help, and the balance is kept for the time being.

So here we are not very far into the film, and we already have the living dead. Or at least a miracle. Clearly not an actual historical film. But it is an example of Jancso making history answer him. This cadet being killed and resurrected is not factual, nor is the audience intended to think it is. Rather, it shows the keeping of the peace for the time being in a way which cannot be literally believed but can express more clearly that a factual representation.

Perhaps the most stunning example of Jancso making history subordinate to his point is in a scene which opens with all the peasants and the soldiers dancing together. By this time the rising has grown to include hundreds of peasants, and they have been brought into direct conflict with the whole army. So we see a massive dance; all is frivolous and jolly. Then there is a bugle call and all the soldiers walk away from dance and surround the dancing peasants. They aim their guns at the peasants and fire on command until every peasant has fallen down dead.

The statement here is about the power of conflicting loyalty and allegiance, and it is one of the most powerful scenes in the film. It is, however, also symbolic. As powerful a message as this scene is, it is not the final message, and so Jancso’s peasants reappear in the next scene, bound and separated between those that wish to recant and live, and those who would rather die. This is two times that Jancso has had characters resurrected in Red Psalm, the second time being a mass resurrection. Surely this must detract from the meaning of the death. By now the audience must be convinced that no death is meaningful because death is not real in Jancso’s world within this film. But the deaths are not there to torment an audience with the end of a beloved character, they are in this film to make history, in a fashion, answer to man, which has been the goal of all of Jancso’s, and it could be added all of Hungary’s films.

The film Red Psalm ends with the peasants who will not recant being executed. One of the recantors tries to get his fellows who will not to recant, and the guitar player who has only sang and played throughout the film to this point stabs him. the guitar player is himself shot by an officer, and the other peasants are executed thereafter. The film ends with a shot of their blood stained bodies and the image of one of the peasant women rising to shoot down the celebrating soldiers.

The point is hard to judge. There are several points one could see being made in the film, but the primary one seems to be made by the very existence of the film itself. One can make a film to suit one’s own purposes. Jancso does this beautifully but others may do it more poorly. The strength in history is not inchoate. History becomes important when it is made to answer to man and thereby made comprehensible. The danger therein lies in who history is being made to answer to when a given perspective is presented. Clearly in some cases we get beautiful films about the powers of reconciliation and struggle for class freedom. In some cases we could get something far worse.

There, now, that was not so bad, was it?

“What? Oh. Sorry. I was looking at this sweet DVD.”

You mean to tell me that you didn’t get any of the information from that paper I just wrote. You don’t know anything more about history answering to man than you did before?

“Well, you don’t either. You just made it up off the top of your head. Hell, you’re just typing out this conversation because the paper isn’t long enough.”

Yes, proverbial student, the paper does not meet the minimum word requirement in it’s current state, but I think that it is a strong paper nonetheless. You see, proverbial student, it isn’t about the length of the paper, but rather about the thought that goes into it and how clearly the student understands the material involved. If, in the case of this class, my essay reflects, which I hope it does, the appreciation and intellectual challenges this class has brought to me, then it shouldn’t matter if two hundred or so of the words are the most blatent filler imaginable.

“Hey nameless voice, you’re right.”

God, I hope so.

Friday, May 06, 2005

There will be no open letters.

My brilliant plan will have to fruit another, more cognizant time.

Watch out!

For now, I survived. No sleep.

I said "that was awesome" to two of my pilots after the flight. The third, I told "I mean, you've flown in planes... 7000 feet is bumpy as shit!"

Last song I heard in the Czech Republic: wake me up before you go go.

Wednesday, May 04, 2005

"SPAM SPAM SPAM (nadoelo)"

I don't know what that means, but those of you who have been following the nigh-daily adventures in blogdom that are presented here by the fine folks at santoritimes.blogspot may recall an equally inexplicable post title from some time ago. That title was derived from the auto-filler function of IE in the lab in A2 Vinarska, and this one is as well.

So this is it. This will be my last post from Europe for the foreseeable future. It will not be a good one. Today I bid farewell to the Pod and had an amicable first/last meeting with Andrew's brother. I will say goodbye to Tesco wine tonight. I will pack and take down all my shitty prints from the walls of the room. I will no doubt sleep late. I will eat soft sauce for the last time. Tomorrow Tora pizza will be my final Brno meal.

The bus leaves at 5.

The beauty that I'm sure Prague is in the spring will be lost to me, trapped with luggage in the airport for hours. I will again be spending time in godforsaken Frankfurt, just in the airport, just for three hours. America will welcome me with perfunctory customs checks in Charlotte. I'll be in Asheville in time for dinner.

Visit me.

MUSIC: beulah: If We Can Land A Man On The Moon, Surely I Can Win Your Heart

Tuesday, May 03, 2005

which film starring Eddie Murphy...

...and Nick Nolte really sucks and features a villain called the iceman?

That would be Another 48 hours, and it's funny you should ask that, because that's almost exactly how long I'll be in Brno.

The plane tickets arrived today, UPS can eat one, and I will be sitting in the prague airport for nearly twelve hours on Thursday night.

Those of you with ready access to cheddar cheese should remember how lucky you all are. It's totally great.

Gameboy Advance, after lying dormant for months, wastes my time and batteries.

-Friday - get home. hopefully eat something and shower. laundry is good.

-Saturday - get job. have car, possibly bandana matt (comment). laundry

-Sunday - mothers day. call mom, hopefully decembrists. if not, Family Guy.

-Monday - x-rays. not be crippled - doctor. Daily show

-Tuesday - work

Etc...

I've wasted enough of your time for now. Baron Trenck beckons.

MUSIC: pixies: debaser

Monday, May 02, 2005

Oh, la moats...

Tis gibberish, that, but now you know how to pronounce Olomouc, the town we went to yesterday for to walk and drink.

There was, if I'm not mistaken, a birthday celebration involved.

Apparently, our fair city of Brno was to be the site of a giant protest-cum-fist fight with skin heads and anarchists. Perhaps it would be best to spend May Day elsewhere, methought (that can't be right), and my compatriots were in agreement.

We boarded the train near 11 am and rode in companionable noisiness most of the way to said town. Rather than fascists throwing punches and heavy police presence, we found archery contests and a concert and lots of lounging around in the shade and drinking beer. We partook in the latter.

Needless to say this was the first time I was up before noon since March 19, so I slept like a baby.

Also, needless to say, I had the last laugh.

MUSIC: the reindeer section: grand parade

PS: 5 days

PPS: no ticket.

Saturday, April 30, 2005

Bored, I emulate Luke Rosa.

Searching Google for "Jef is"

-Jef is a political movement, but not a party
-Jef is its youth movement
-Jef is an Uncle
-Jef is engaged in an "epic confrontation" with the zethi fleet
-Jef is also a songwriter
-Jef is a P2P application designed by the authors, based on the Project
JXTA P2P
-Jef is all about and why it's good
-Jef is already connected to the serial port 1
-Jef is being sought all over
-Jef is aware that parts of the Constitution remain vague and
contradictory
-Jef is a more generic version of the Filewatcher Framework
-Jef is Babelfish, by the way. By my count, he is roughly 25% of the
troll here.
-Jef is State Certified in General Counseling, Marriage/Family, and
Chemical Dependency
-Jef is probably out of his element here
-Jef is a multitalented person who is most capable
-Jef is a well-known local actor and mime
-Jef is a musician, he builds model planes, loves archery,
ping pong, and racing cars. He's a mathematician, and an
interface designer with a mission
-Jef is also accepting monetary donations to assist financially
-Jef is behind Stig Eklund
-Jef is a gentleman seaking a Russian bride
-Jef is based at the Belgian underground storage laboratory at Mol
-Jef is out standing in his magnetic field
-Jef is on the right with radio
-Jef is like, "No, really..."
-Jef is nabbed by the police
-Jef is in school becoming a certified gunsmith right now!
-Jef is forced to rely on his own instincts to survive
-Jef is the curator of a large collection of Peter Pan memorabilia
-Jef is insane and is the ruler of his own fantasy kingdom
-Jef is the greatest and he is unlike anyone else
-Jef is the ultimate portrait of cool

"I can’t seem to breath..."

...with a rusted metal heart
I can’t seem to see through solid marble eyes"

Okay, so this is what happened. I sent my parents my address to mail me the plane tickets for a flight in six, count 'em six days. I left off the town name, but the postal code made that okay.

As near as I can tell, my parents took the address I sent them, which would work, to some UPS store or something and read them the address. UPS cats, as is their wont, wrote it down wrong.

So now instead of my ticket coming to Brno, it's going to "Vinarska," a town which does not exist. The 5 which goes with Vinarska (sans diacritical marks to ease American minds), the street I live on (Vinarska 5) has moved down with postal code to now make it one digit too long for functionality.

So hopefully my frantic e-mail to UPS will do it's job when they realize they are delivering to a nonexistant address. Really, really hopefully.

MUSIC: modest mouse: trailer trash

Friday, April 29, 2005

I am trying...

I am trying very hard...
not to be angry...
not to be jubilant...
at least I'm in control enough, now, and able
to see to it
that I am not hungry.

MUSIC: yeah yeah yeahs: bang

Thursday, April 28, 2005

last transaction

4/5/2005
ATM Cash Withdrawal
L340 TIME 03:28 PM DATE 04-05
CESKA 12 BRNO CZ

So it's still me being broke and Jesse had a little wine, which was too much. Good times.

edit: I forgot... 8 days...

MUSIC: badly drawn boy: this song

Wednesday, April 27, 2005

The day is mine!

I got money! Woo Hoo!
...
...
...
Oh... Wait... that's just an interest payment of 3 cents. Back of the net.

41 cents now... why, that's nearly 10 crowns. If I could get it, I could own a beer. Jedno pivo. Needless to say, many more than jedno would be required at this point.

9 days.

MUSIC: modest mouse: dog paddle

Tuesday, April 26, 2005

"How will we know...

...if we talk as we dream if we don't sleep together?"

Looks like I'll be home for dinner on May 6th, people. that is less than two weeks.

MUSIC: sebadoh: oh fire (in my head)

Monday, April 25, 2005

Do you ever hear it?

When all your conscious mind is eaten up by that song that won't leave your brain... Behind it, in the subconscious, is the nebulous miasma of thoughts that are always present, the worries and wants and crushes and plans and the future, but right up in front, all you get is, "sister I need wine for coloring my skin..."

Such was the story last night as I struggled vainly to capture sleep and make it do my bidding. Wandering thoughts about the summer and the Oak Ridge folks I half-know or know not at all and the necessity for remedying the situation were suddenly superceded by "if you want to buy me flowers, just go ahead now..." And, struggling valiently against the two princes I pushed past the spin doctors and tried to decide whether a fifth of Jack would be cheaper in North Carolina or Tennessee and "And if you'd like to talk for hours, just go ahead now!" Such is my delimma.

In other news, no plane ticket as yet. And no ability to finance my frugal lifestyle as yet. Tomorrow and tomorrow and tomorrow.

MUSIC: the tragically hip: are we family

Saturday, April 23, 2005

"nevermind the world...

...when you think it's right in front of you
i know they think i'm crazy and believe i need a girl"

Ah, the fire theft. It's arena rock with Jeremy Enigk and it is grand. (Resisting urge for obvious pun) Check it out.

I've been sitting here staring at the blank page and being distracted for some time now, so I'll leave it alone.

Word for the day is family.

MUSIC: pavement: texas never whispers

Friday, April 22, 2005

three, count 'em...

...three updates today, and I've barely said a word. READ THIS.

and have a nice day.

MUSIC: elliott smith: clementine

PS. don't let me forget how much I love Will Oldham (especially Palace Music Lost Blues and other songs)or Beulah.

international small arms traffic blues

My love is like a powder keg
My love is like a powder keg in the corner of an empty warehouse
Somewhere just outside of town
About to burn down

My love is like a Cuban plane
My love is like a Cuban plane flying from Havana
Up the Florida coast to the 'Glades
Soviet made

Our love is like the border between Greece and Albania
Our love is like the border between Greece and Albania
Trucks loaded down with weapons
Crossing over every night
Moon yellow and bright
There is a shortage in the blood supply
But there is no shortage of blood
The way I feel about you baby can't explain it
You got the best of my love

-the mountain goats

quizzes




You're The Grapes of Wrath!

by John Steinbeck

You're mired in a deep depression that encompasses you and everyone
you know. You're trying to get out of the depression, but your idea of help is, in
itself, pretty sad. While some are convinced that this all has a deeper meaning, you're
really just dull and tedious. And utterly obsessed with dust. You really need to focus
on something other than dust. Your best moments center around turtles.



Take the Book Quiz
at the Blue Pyramid.



You are Today Billy! You are a sexually frustrated
dreamer who wishes to get away from the
mundanity of your life. You are adventurous and
fun-loving, you are always ready to pack up and
go. Even though you have friends, you always
seem to find yourself alone romantically, but
you make the best of it.


What music video Billy Corgan are you?!
brought to you by Quizilla

I had to get rid of the image because it was screwing stuff up. You can see it here.

MUSIC: architecture in helsinki: scissors paper rock

Tuesday, April 19, 2005

I am...

...not photogenic. Thanks Carla.

MUSIC: guided by voices: they're not witches (Cara's fault by way of my own)

Sunday, April 17, 2005

"everybody's gotta hold on hope...

...it's the last thing that's holding me"

I don't mind mind redundancy.

MUSIC: the owls: air

Saturday, April 16, 2005

holy smokes...

...I'm a senior. sorta. 88 hours or so under my belt... which may explain why this fall I'm taking:

Biology in 21st Century
Intro to Speech Communication
Intro Microeconomic-Social Issues
Intermediate Photography (thank god)
and
maybe
Films that matter

I need a job and a car and crate of vodka and millions of dollars to make it next fall... Well, that's exaggeration, but the classes, clearly won't be keeping me on my toes, generally.

EDIT: I finished writing my album this week. Give me a four track and a steady hand to strum and I can move the world.

MUSIC: burning airlines: wheaton calling

business casual

1. Leave me a comment saying, “Interview me.”
2. I will respond by asking you five questions. I get to pick the questions.
3. You will update your blog/site with the answers to the questions and leave the answers as comments on my blog.
4. You will include this explanation and an offer to interview someone else in the same post.
5. When others comment asking to be interviewed, you will ask them five questions.

1. Are you drinking two percent milk?

What, at the moment? No. I generally do, though I prefer skim. I am in a milk-free state at the moment, however, and can honestly say I've had no milk since January.

2. Do you think it will be possible to move about in Cullowhee after so much life having passed between last May and this August?

It has to be. There's more life in me now than before, and so Cullowhee will be forced to accomodate it. Rooming with Shleeve and hopefully working in the lab and doing all the things I've been doing and more. 4 track and screaming in the quietest room I can find at the oddest hours and Kung-fu tuesdays and music and actually being social and god-forbid getting a girl and the easiest classes fathomable. And I may even have a car to accomodate escape if cullowhee threatens to crush my soul. And I'm supposed to just answer, but will you be there, or is Chapel Hill happening?

3. If you were held at gun point by a megalomanical literary guild and forced to declare a favorite book or perish, what would you choose?

Whether to name the book or perish? or do you mean which book? Hmm... I'd go with Portrait of the Artist as a Young Man. I could carry that book about with me and read it cover to cover, starting over as soon as I finished, as Pete used to do with the Hitchhiker's guide.

4. What's the deal with corn nuts?

I know! Is it corn or is it a nut?!? What's the deal?!

5. What are the top three moments you recall from your year in the Czech Republic?

Top three memory-wise, or top three top-wise? I mean, am I being asked to name the three moments I will remember the best at this point, or the three top moments? I suppose it's at my discretion, yeah? So, in no particular order... (1) Running across the street at Hlavni Nadrazi, passport stowed in my pocket, jumping the rail and dashing up the stairs, seeing Glen and Brett still there. Their train hadn't arrived, we were going to Vienna. Oh, the elation. (2) the inexplicable joy of being informed that we could not, in fact have any more champagne because we had consumed all the champagne on the premises. The glorious drunk and the snapping pictures and some good, infections Carla laughter and that fleeting feeling that everything was all right. (3) It was after six a.m. but only barely, and the first tram of the day would be there in a moment. The icy walk down had wakened us though we'd not slept and I explained that the Czech Republic was the PDA capital of the world. People were constantly making out, and I needed revenge. Holding and a clumsy kiss. That was a moment.

MUSIC: oingo boingo: flesh n' blood (live)

Friday, April 15, 2005

Mouthful of gyro...

...I told Andrew that the movie kicked my ass all over the theater, and it was true.

This is two times in six months that Jesse and I have seen the last film in an International Film Festival in Europe, and both times it's been an English language film. I guess we're lame.

I am registered for the lamest classes ever. more on that later.

MUSIC: grandaddy: he's simple, he's dumb, he's the pilot

Thursday, April 14, 2005

"Banned from the end of the world

I've no millenial fear,
the future is here, it comes every year.
(If you want me there, I'll play forever dear
Open up the box a new life rushes out
Nasty little bug, much work to be done
Eat all the numbers up, we're 00 gone!)

Hot hot, go back these eyes are shut!

If you want it, I'll come right over,
then throw me out when the party's over.

Banned from the end of your world
We can bottle time and sell it back
It's a nostalgic crime!
(If you want me there, we'll party without fear
A new world rushes on and we'll just play
along
A night of revelry, spend it here with me
For so many dreams cannot be contained)

Banned from the end of the world
The future is here, look in the mirror
(We're the band from the end of the world.)"

-Sleater-Kinney

Tuesday, April 12, 2005

The Vinarška ABC's

A is for Abigail - terribly sweet
B is for Booze which is oft what we eat
C is for Carla who visited once
and D is for Drama because there's too much
E is for Eldon, I think you know why
F is for Andrew because Fuck that guy
G is Gambrinus, a beer that's all right
H is for Heikki, thank god he took flight
I am the writer, I caught you a bass
J is for Jesse who frankly kicks ass
K is for Kino, the movies we see
L is for this wee girl named Lizzie
M is Malcovsky, say that three times fast
and N will be Martin, though he should have come last
O is for Olga gone back to Ukraine
and P is for Piia who is not a dane
Q is the Michaels, though I can't say why
and R is for Richard, most British of guys
S is for Shellie whose hair is quite long
and T is for Tim whose hair is dark and gone
U is for Utrecht and Achnes (sp?) as well
and V is for Fran - doesn't work all that well
W is walking after the buses we missed
X is too hard, pretend it doesn't exist
Y is for... Yeshiva... the jewish schools
and Z is...
I wrote this?
I am such a tool.

Wow... that was painful. Sorry about that.

By the way, Film and Musical Festival in town RIGHT NOW! Check it out, especially if you're in town. We should totally see something.

MUSIC: lifeguards: no chain breaking

Monday, April 11, 2005

to get back into the swing of things

let me do another of my trademark needless and brief posts. I just want to say that it's hilarious that MSN thinks that this is worthy of being a news story put before the world.

yessir. that's news. and the link that led me there said, as if this were noteworthy somehow, "Jessica Alba keeps clothes on."

Is Jessica Alba generally in a state of undress? Is her wearing garments so rare as to consititute news? I am under the impression that, so far as most of the world is concerned, Jessica Alba is generally seen in a state of dressedness. Her remaining in said state, however, is apparently news.

Oy.

MUSIC: hum: green to me

"everybody's gotta hold on hope...

...it's the last thing that's holdin' me."

So I spent the night sitting in a lounge up in the brains of Vinarska singing to myself, and I can't believe that no one noticed. I finished the Time Traveler's Wife and it was too much. Audrey Niffenegger can line up behind Ricky Gervais for that fight I'm supposed to be having if my mood doesn't shift enough for me to embrace the lyrical beauty contained both in the Office and Niffenegger's book.

I've been a horrible blogger lately so let me try and summarize the week. Carla left on Monday, and I posted a bit about that, yeah? So tuesday was spent... um... hell, it's a blur. Wednesday night, however, was the plastic people of the universe. There are not words to describe this experience. They performed their passion play for the third and possibly last time ever. It was positively grand. Everyone is required to hit up either myself or Jesse to hear the recording when we return stateside. You will be blown away and then we will tell you how the recording pales before the experience. Eat your heart out.

Thursday I crippled myself and friday I was crippled. Saturday I drank champagne, watched legally blonde, I'm embarassed to say, and I must admit it is far down on the list of destructive things I did to myself or had done to me. Oy.

Last night I came in at least bordering 4 am and took a shower. I was inexpressibly cheered when I saw that the boxers I'd chosen in the dark were my Christmas eve gift from this past year, though I still wanted to punch the mirror and did not.

No worries, ladies and gents, I'm stronger stuff. Traci and Shellie, who may never read this and whose name I may have misspelled, you've both been angels. I hope it's not too off-putting.

"blankness and darkness like underneath a leaf has settled on me here..."

MUSIC: guided by voices: hold on hope

Sunday, April 10, 2005

ouch.

i don't want to talk about it.

or if I do, not here.

MUSIC: aimee mann: that's just what you are

PS. Kasia posted in english!

Monday, April 04, 2005

I don't know what it says

about me, but I really like the yeah, yeah, yeahs. Between them and Sleater Kinney I suppose I must be a lesbian women's studies major, right?

Anyway, the weekend went on for miles and every minute of it was life and a lot of it was quite good. Carla from Vermont by way of London was about and I'm impressed. Lefties unite and a running-gag high and we drank a bar out of champagne.

This is an adventure.

MUSIC: pernice brothers: the weakest shade of blue

Saturday, April 02, 2005

In pin-striped finery

I walk the streets of Brno, heavy of heart and light of wallet. A check cleared my account today for 25 and some odd dollars, and I haven't written a check since possibly a year ago.

I watched 21 Grams again today. I saw Finding Neverland in a regal old cinema-house (pun regrettably intended) on a huge screen and I sighed and sniffled and allowed myself to be manipulated. I'm waiting in the lab for Bratislava to reach Brno on the bottoms of the shoes of friends and my inability to determine whether this is a great post or a terrible one encourages me stop.

I want this song to never end, but it pulls out parts of my hearts by the note.

MUSIC: archers of loaf: chumming the oceans (live)

Tuesday, March 29, 2005

Balance must be restored.

We've all had a good laugh at how stupid southerners are this last week. Hell, some of us have had a good laugh at how stupid southerners are for most of our lives. But to show that stupid, redneck idiocy happens the world over, I present this piece of czech news.

Bon apetit.

Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go buy some food and beer and resist the urge to link more stuff.

Oh, and if you haven't seen the office, don't spend too much time looking around that website I linked yesterday. It may ruin some things for you. And if you're ricky gervais, meet me at the flag pole after school today, you and me are gonna throw down.

MUSIC: sunny day real estate: seven

Monday, March 28, 2005

Sebadoh!

Launchcast is playing "skull," so everyone go and get it asap. That's right, I'm encouraging Internet Piracy.

Yarr, me beauties!

MUSIC: sebadoh: skull

Easter, eh?

I guess we'd better get to the whipping of the young ladies. Seriously. I'm not kidding.

Day off from school, which gives me a total of one day of classes this week. I don't know how I'll survive so rigorous a course load. Oh, no, wait, I do. I'll blog obsessively and listen to music and write and drink. Hell, I may even watch something entertaining. Speaking of entertainment, I just finished watching The Office last night and I just want to tell Ricky Gervais to go to hell.

Yes, the office is brilliant. Hilarious, too. But by god it's brutal. If the American version is, as I've heard, a direct remake, it will be too tragic for american audiences to handle.

So big up to Cara for enlightening me about Hopkin Green Frog, and big down to the farelly brothers for fever pitch. You lost me with your Ben Stiller bad day movie, and it appears I will stay lost. Eat one, guys.

Oh, and sorry about making you share paragraph space with the farelly's, Cara.

Here's Cara's own paragraph. I'll even put a link to a good trailer in here, that should make up for the sin of proximity committed above.

So tonight I have the two Christmas specials of the office to look forward to or perhaps the Royal Tennenbaums. Either way the clocks are set forward and it's an hour later than it should be and the Czech Republic is warm and welcoming despite my poverty. Send lawyers, guns and money.

MUSIC: sparklehorse: gold days

Saturday, March 26, 2005

and indeed...

...it was a good friday. Kasia was in town and we ate people at Kanibal (fried cheese people) and I even managed to endure a shot of Ukrainian vodka. go me.

so here's something stupid. Between this piece of news and the Tennesseeing afoot it looks like the south is being represented about as well now as ever. Between these occurances and the Serbs singing sweet home alabama the other night at the tops, of their voices, I've been a bit unhappy with being a North Carolidiot. Being born in Georgia doesn't help, either.

So let me just say that Kasia totally rules and I lament the idiocy of tennessee and sports make you crazy.

Now here's some stuff to entertain you.

MUSIC: guided by voices: ester's day

Wednesday, March 23, 2005

Bowie had it right,

and I mean the singer, not the knife guy. Dying at the Alamo could hardly be right, but with no fear of sounding redundant, it's a godawful small affair.

Is there life on mars?

Forgive me for not being more informative or long-winded. Life beckons. This is an adventure.

Livingstone tonight and being social.

CURRENT STATE OF MIND COURTESY OF: Andrew
HOLY WEEK COURTESY OF: Jewish Calendar
MUSIC: jamiroquai: virtual insanity

Tuesday, March 22, 2005

"now I...

...want someone badly to burn in here with me."

Somehow today turned awesome and I've had love songs in my head all day. We found the greenway and rode trams and drank kofola.

"give me life, give me pain, give me myself again."

I know I say it a lot, but this is an adventure.

MUSIC/WORLDVIEW: depeche mode: somebody

Monday, March 21, 2005

"it's a godawful small affair..."

"How is a raven like a writing desk?" And Lewis Carroll never offered to answer the question. I'm something of a Carroll freak, so I endeavored and did find the answer.

My family was in Disney World again, as my step-mom finds an excuse to get us all down there at least every two years or so. Once there, we live like kings and eat like locusts and hunt mullets and snap pictures and make short films and have a ball. So we had just finished eating like kings at one of those character breakfasts, and we walk downstairs to leave. There's a guy playing the mad hatter, and Pete wants to get a picture with him, so we take many a shot of the hatter with members of the family, and I say to the guy, "so, how is a raven like a writing desk?"

He doesn't break character for a moment. "You really want to know?" he said.

"Yeah, I do. It's not in any of the books and I want answers."

He smiled and shook his head. "It's really not very good."

"I don't care. Tell me." And he did.

Answers, I later discovered, for this riddle are plentiful.

"Dream kid the size does not matter
Bad luck anyway you call it
Red ants and mercy giants
The angels of the bars"

MUSIC: guided by voices: they are not witches

"crawling people...

...on their knees, don't take this so seriously. You just have to hum it all day long."

Nothing recuperates you like a royal shindig of a weekend in Vienna followed, eventually, by a long shower and a long, long sleep. Ladies and gentlemen, that is your prescription.

Nothing happened today but the arrival of a package, stuffed with deodorant and books and medicine and chapstick and a helpful robot to add numbers to other numbers (thanks mom). Reveling in cleanliness and listening to guided by voices and david bowie is a fine way to spend the day.

MUSIC: david bowie: life on mars (in my head)

Sunday, March 20, 2005

The empty glass...

...was set down, lemon sucked, and somewhere in the haze of the smokey expat bar Glenn said, "Austria was a song."

Austria was a song. Thursday was St. Patrick's day, Andrew and I hung around my room, ate beans and rice, and reveled in the balcony being usable on the first nice day since november. We yelled conversation which led to some confusion, and a pawn fell on my chair.

The pawn was from two floors up, Shell(ie/ey/y) and Abigail's room. Returning the pawn got us an invite to an irish bar with a mob, and we took it. Got angry because of the aformentioned frustration and had a beer, then went to see the Life Aquatic.

I don't have to say anything about that movie, because if you're keen on Wes, you already know, and if you're not, you won't agree.

We went from the movie back home and Andrew and I made our way into the next building for what we thought was a St. Patrick's day party, but it wasn't. It turned out it was someone's birthday, but all the same we were given drinks gratis. Hanging out and talking with Jesse followed. We were up till the wee hours and I was supposed to get up to go with Andrew to meet his friends Glenn and Brett at the train station. (Technically, Brett was, at that point, a friend of a friend, but let's not split hairs.) I didn't make it due to alarm clock idiosyncracies. Regardless they came into the place Jesse and I were eating in the early afternoon, and we hung out with them thereafter.

It was 7:40 and we were finishing dinner in the Staro Brno brewery. Andrew, Jesse, and I are informed that there is room and an invitation for us to sleep in the huge apartment hostel Glenn and Brett have acquired through what I believe were clerical errors. We accept, and have just under an hour to get our passports and buy tickets for the train.

We did it. Glenn said, "stop being a martyr," and andrew replied that martyrs don't succeed. "I'm a hero." He is.

He ran from Vistaviste (don't care about spelling it right) to our rooms, got all our passports, toothbrushes, and a stick of deodorant between two trams going by. This after having been drinking for over six hours.

Jesse has money, and Andrew and I do not, so Jesse, I will safely say, is also a hero. If he hadn't been willing to help us (specifically me) out, this weekend couldn't have happened. At least not for me.

So we're running, adrenal, through the streets of brno after urging our tram to move faster than it by rights ought, and we get to the train station. Andrew goes into the office, sweating and breathing heavily. He says we need three tickets for Vienna returning on Sunday and departing right now. The ticket clerk, deadpan, says, "yeah, I know."

So all of a sudden, we're in Vienna. Glenn plays tour guide, we talk a lot. Kasekrainer and Jesse's first tequila and beers that cost too much and snitzel and churches and hapsburgs and tours and austrian television and mohitos and long island ice teas and cold viennese winds. So much film waiting for a lab in the states to get developed.

Saturday was the anniversary of the invasion of Iraq, and we walked against the tide of a huge austrian protest being escorted by jackboots with bodies. We had leisurely coffees in the train station before we left and we had to run to catch our train back to brno.

"This is an adventure."

MUSIC: neutral milk hotel: two-headed boy

P.S. Do not see the movie Leprechaun IV