Friday, May 23, 2008

23 May 2008

"I've got more trophies than Wayne Gretzky and the Pope combined."


Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull: The empire strikes back. Not original


Postal: Based on that video game you probably forgot. (Note: apparently this was supposed to be a wide release until theater owners stopped being completely retarded.) Not original

War, Inc.: Being called the unofficial sequel to Grosse Point Blank does not make it so. Scorpions. Original

Children of Huang Shi: Epic Chinese love story... starring the guy from The Tudors and the girl from Silent Hill. I know. Original

A Jihad for Love: Curiously named documentary about gay and lesbian Muslims. I keep thinking of the scene in Team America where the actor threatens to declare a jihad on anyone who makes him angry, and then I feel terrible. Original

Dalai Lama Renaissance: Harrison Ford narrates a documentary about the Dalai Lama (and probably a noun of an adjective noun). Original

The Edge of Heaven: Bizarre translation of a German film literally called "from the other side." Original

Insidious: Young writer/director makes a movie about a young writer/director. Original

the score:

week: 6-2
year: 127-57


week: 0-1
year: 31-29

(note: Postal not only isn't getting the wide release that Uwe was somehow able to dupe people into agreeing to, but it also doesn't contain the footage of him having fistfights with his critics. alas)

Friday, May 16, 2008

16 May 2008

"If only we hadn't flown penguins to Pluto and dumped oil on them!"


Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian: Based on the bible/C.S. Lewis. Not original


Indestructible: A documentary, one assumes, about superman. Original

My Father, My Lord: Based on the bible/Original

Sangre de mi Sangre: Combines El Norte with El Mariachi and The Muppets Take Manhattan, except this time, it's personal. Original

Yella: German. Original

the score:

week: 4-1
year: 121-55


week: 0-1
year: 31-28

Friday, May 09, 2008

9 May 2008

"Back of the net."


Speed Racer: "Kudos to production designer the Marquis de Sade, and to script-doctor Chim-Chim." -Gregory Weinkauf. Not original

What Happens In Vegas: Does not stay in Vegas, in fact, and takes place largely in New York. Also what happens in Vegas is terrible ideas for movies are drunkenly hatched. Despite the fact that the premise of this film seems to be based on an ad campaign I guess it's grudgingly Original


The Babysitters: The early front runner for the film most likely to have creepy old men filing lawsuits for intellectual property theft. Original

Battle for Haditha: It's hard to tell if this is a fictional film set during the event or essentially a retelling so I'm gonna go Not Original

Before the Rains: But after the original movie, Asphalt Zahov. Not original

Bloodline: The rule on documentaries is that they count as original, but a documentary of a guy trying to explore The Da Vinci Code is getting the Not original

Frontier(s): Neonazis! Original

The Memory Thief: Nazis! Original

Monster Camp: It's like summer camp if, instead of basket weaving and hiking, campers pretended they were orcs and wizards. Oh, and all the campers are adult fantasy enthusiasts. Original

Noise: Tim Robbins is being driven crazy by the constant noise in New York, so instead of considering a move or maybe some soundproofing, he becomes batman. Original

Refusenik: Commies! Original

Surfwise: Documentary about a rejected sequel to Lord of the Rings in which Sam leads a gnarly surfboard invasion to the undying lands. No? Damn. Original

The Tracey Fragments: "There are only rare scenes in which there are less then 3 fragments to be seen on screen." Sounds unpleasant and pretentious, but I've been wrong before. Not original

Turn the River: Is about a poolshark, but I bet there's some Texas Hold 'em in there, too. Original

Vice: Stars most of the cast of Kill Bill. That is all I know. Original

the score:

week: 10-5
year: 117-54


week: 1-1
year: 31-27

Friday, May 02, 2008

2 May 2008

"you're gonna set my country music award on fire?"


Iron Man: Not original

Made of Honor: The preview for this movie had more than two pratfalls in 30 seconds. I'm just saying... Original


Fugitive Pieces: Not original

Graduation: Not a Graduate prequel. Original

Hollywood Chinese: Original

Mister Lonely: Harmony Korine Strikes Back! Original

Redbelt: David Mamet and ultimate fighting sounds like a winning combination, right? (...) Original

Son of Rambow: Almost certainly better than any other Rambo related film. Not original

Viva: Original

The War on Democracy: Original

XXY: Not original

the score:

week: 7-4
year: 107-49


week: 1-1
year: 30-26

note: that whole thing about having energy turned out to be false.