Friday, June 27, 2008

27 June 2008

"you didn't have to go all Frankie Muniz on me"


Wall-E: I know, I hoped it was a new Short Circuit too. Alas. Original

Wanted: What we need is more movies made out of comic books. Not original


Wicked Lake: Camping, men forcing women to do horrible things, revenge... This sounds a little too close to movies I hate (I Spit on your Grave, Hostel...) to be any good. Original

Trumbo: A documentary (sort of) based on a play...? Confusing to classify on the originality scale, but certainly an intriguing looking picture. Not original

The Last Mistress: Revealing mistakes: In one shot, Asia Argento's "tramp stamp" tattoo is visible. Although tattoos were known to early 19th century Europeans (in fact, they date back before civilization), it seems improbable that Argento's character, a Spanish lady in France, was meant to have a tattoo in a design like the actress's tattoo. Not original

Gunnin' for that #1 Spot: Hoop Dreamsy. Original

Finding Amanda: Matthew Broderick once again makes a better movie than Deck the Halls that will get a fraction of the release. Original

Bustin' Down the Door: Another documentary about surfing. Also, the second documentary with an apostrophe for a 'g' this week. They must be totally hip. Original

the score:

week: 5-2
year: 154-68


week: 1-1
year: 36-34

Friday, June 20, 2008

20 June 2008

"I got a hand so I got a fist so I got a plan, it's the best that I can do"


Get Smart: It's funny because he's stupid. Get it? Not original

The Love Guru:
It's not funny, but it is, by all accounts, even stupider. Though I did see the end of Dana Carvey's Master of Disguise recently and I would be willing to bet that Guru is not the worst vehicle for a Wayne's World alum. Original


Brick Lane: Arranged marriage trip from Bangladesh to London. Sounds like East is East, but this time it's classified as a drama instead of a comedy so it's probably not so goddamn depressing. Not original

Dashavatar: "The ten avatars" is the literal title translation. It seems pretty hard to describe and experimental, but it also seems to be based on the mythology of Vishnu. Not original

Expired: A meter maid falls in love with an asshole cop in LA. Tagline: "Don't park your heart in the red zone." By all accounts it's better than it sounds. Original

Hair Extensions: Killer hair extensions. I'm not kidding. Original

the score:

week: 3-3
year: 149-66


week: 1-1
year: 35-33

note: That American Girl movie doesn't get covered now because it's getting a wide release in a week and a half. I'm sure I don't always catch movies that get released like this, but this one is all over the tv about how this limited release is a "sneak preview," so I caught this one.

Friday, June 13, 2008

13 June 2008

"How 'bout a bumper sandwich, boogerlips?!"


The Incredible Hulk: Spoiler Alert: That's William Hurt, not Ted Levine. Don't let the mustache fool you. Not original

The Happening: More like the Cra... no, no... seriously, I'm sure it's good. Unless the twist is that it's actually bad the whole time, only Haley Osment can't tell. Original


Baghead: Think Leatherface, only stupid on purpose (and not as stupid). Original

Chris and Don: A Love Story: Documentary about the the long-lasting relationship between a British writer , an American artist, and the most generic title ever. Original

Encounters at the end of the World: Holy shit, Werner Herzog was in Antarctica! Tell me somebody warned Antarctica. Is it still there? Did he push a boat over it? Original

Love Comes Lately: Amorous old man. Based on the stories of Issac Bashevis Singer. Not original

My Winnipeg: That's Guy Maddin's Winnipeg, not yours. Original

Quid Pro Quo: Because of the curvy, colorful poster images that use a lot of blue, I thought that there was a typo and that this was some sort of a squid picture. Alas I am mistaken. Original

To the Limit: "Every body to the limit, the Cheat is to the limit! Everybody come on Fhqwhgads." Original

the score:

week: 7-2
year: 146-63


week: 1-1
year: 34-32

note: The new Jan Hrebejk (Divided We Fall, Horem Padem) film is playing in limited release, but it was originally released in 2006 so it doesn't get included in the count. See it all the same.

Friday, June 06, 2008

6 June 2008

So I missed a week. Instead of saying something brief and cruel about Sex and the City, I was moving across town to a sweet new pad. So this week is a double.

"Hava Nagila, Baby" -Rabbi, P.I.

Last Week Wide:

Sex and the City: The Movie:
Thank god they put this in theaters instead of Sex and the City: The Book. Not original

The Strangers: Supposedly inspired by true events. Not original

Last Week Limited:

The Foot Fist Way: Moustache alert! Original

Bigger, Faster, Stronger: Steroids Documentary. Original

Savage Grace: Based on a book of a true story. Not original

Stuck: Mena Suvari hits Stephen Rea with a car. Original

Last Week's Scores:

week: 3-3
year: 130-60

Wide: 0-2
Year: 31-31

This week:


Kung Fu Panda: Finally, a movie that combines the talents of Jackie Chan, David Cross, and Wayne Knight. Original

You Don't Mess With the Zohan: If this movie didn't develop with the help of some sort of intoxicants and liberal inspiration from the Jesus character in The Big Lebowski then I am very surprised. Original


Dreams with Sharp Teeth: Harlan Ellison Documentary. Original

Go-Getter: Let the Zooey Deschanel summer assault begin! Original

The Grocer's Son: It's French, bitch. Original

Miss Conception: There are two 'o's in the title, so guess how many are turned into gender symbols to show us how light hearted this movie about infertility is. That's right, two. Original

Mother of Tears: Dario Argento movie with a reference to eyes in the title? This won't go well. Original

Operation Filmmaker: Documentary. Original

The Promotion: Sean William Scott apparently wasn't satisfied with that movie where he fought against Billy Bob Thornton, so now he gets to go after John Reilly. Original

And When did you Last See your Father?: A father's closeness to death sparks reminiscences in his son. AKA Big Fish. Also, based on a novel. Not original

the score:

week: 9-1
year: 139-61


week: 2-0
year: 33-31

Note: the odds of my having missed a few films last week are, unfortunately, high. I'll try and catch it if I can, but right now I have to unpack.