Saturday, January 27, 2007
Tuesday, January 23, 2007
Dear Politicians,
Thanks for the civility, but don't forget that we're still on a swiftboat to clusterfuckville.
Sincerely,
Jef
MUSIC: guided by voices: the official ironmen rally song
Sincerely,
Jef
MUSIC: guided by voices: the official ironmen rally song
Sunday, January 21, 2007
Wednesday, January 17, 2007
Did I miss a meeting?
I thought it snowed here. I just saw the news. Footage of snow in LA... in Texas?
Over the last week, there has been an ice storm that swept the entire country, coast to coast. It ravaged the north east, dipped down toward Louisiana, meandered up the Mississippi, terrorized Missouri, and attacked New England with a vengeance. It is simply not possible that this storm missed the Ohio River Valley.
But it did.
what?
There has been enough snow, so far this season in Ohio, that, if you kicked around a little, you might be able to hide a dvd case under it.
this is totally unacceptable.
If it doesn't snow within two weeks, I am going to have to... continue to be powerless and unhappy with the weather.
MUSIC: joanna newsom: cosmia
Over the last week, there has been an ice storm that swept the entire country, coast to coast. It ravaged the north east, dipped down toward Louisiana, meandered up the Mississippi, terrorized Missouri, and attacked New England with a vengeance. It is simply not possible that this storm missed the Ohio River Valley.
But it did.
what?
There has been enough snow, so far this season in Ohio, that, if you kicked around a little, you might be able to hide a dvd case under it.
this is totally unacceptable.
If it doesn't snow within two weeks, I am going to have to... continue to be powerless and unhappy with the weather.
MUSIC: joanna newsom: cosmia
Tuesday, January 09, 2007
Sunday, December 31, 2006
One down,
a bunch to go.
The year in review:
Culture and I haven't been getting along all that well this year, so despite my fondness for lists, we won't be doing top anythings this year.
I will say that I was pleased with The Illusionist and The Departed and distressed and dissatisfied with Pirates of the Carribean 2 and Happy Feet. I did not see a lot else in the theaters. The music that made my day this year was Maritime and Maps and Atlases and Regina Spektor (again). I read Mysteries of Pittsburgh and Bee Season and And you Shall Know Our Velocity. For those seeking recommendations, those are in reverse order of quality.
It was a bad year for snow and a good year for rain.
It was an excellent year for the midwest and for midwestern girls and for getting out of college.
It is impossible to judge if it was a good year for summer school or not. I imagine it never is.
The year will end with Champagne.
The new year will start with sleeping late.
Who could ask for anything more?
MUSIC: ben lee: begin
The year in review:
Culture and I haven't been getting along all that well this year, so despite my fondness for lists, we won't be doing top anythings this year.
I will say that I was pleased with The Illusionist and The Departed and distressed and dissatisfied with Pirates of the Carribean 2 and Happy Feet. I did not see a lot else in the theaters. The music that made my day this year was Maritime and Maps and Atlases and Regina Spektor (again). I read Mysteries of Pittsburgh and Bee Season and And you Shall Know Our Velocity. For those seeking recommendations, those are in reverse order of quality.
It was a bad year for snow and a good year for rain.
It was an excellent year for the midwest and for midwestern girls and for getting out of college.
It is impossible to judge if it was a good year for summer school or not. I imagine it never is.
The year will end with Champagne.
The new year will start with sleeping late.
Who could ask for anything more?
MUSIC: ben lee: begin
Thursday, December 21, 2006
The highway is calling, and I'm a pushover.
Tomorrow, santa-like, I will climb into my sleigh and set out across the globe to deliver modest good cheer and not even once think about going down a chimney.
Early rise and in to work. christmas party, drive west, stop for a while, drive east, stop for a while, drive east, stop for a while, drive west, stop for longer than twelve hours (which will be great).
I keep listening to two songs: Scrooge from Muppet Christmas Carol ('don't ask him for a favor 'cause his nastiness increases' etc...) and, oddly enough, if I had a boat by Lyle Lovett. Just take a look at those lyrics and tell me it isn't amazing.
I quote: "If I had a boat, I'd go out on the ocean; and if I had a pony, I'd ride him on my boat."
I finally know what Julia Roberts saw in him.
...
...
Also, Holly... I've a favor. Can you see if you can't talk to people out there and get them to stop saying "Winner of (insert number) Golden Globe nominations" in advertisements. My ability to make analogies has abandoned me, but you know what's wrong with this.
If I had more energy I might do something clever here like throw together some kind of matching game where you try and figure out what insane book I bought goes to which brother... but I am conserving my energy for a day of rainslicked driving and possible caffeine highs and lows like nobody's business.
"Me up on my pony on my boat."
Merry christmas.
MUSIC: muppets: it feels like christmas
Early rise and in to work. christmas party, drive west, stop for a while, drive east, stop for a while, drive east, stop for a while, drive west, stop for longer than twelve hours (which will be great).
I keep listening to two songs: Scrooge from Muppet Christmas Carol ('don't ask him for a favor 'cause his nastiness increases' etc...) and, oddly enough, if I had a boat by Lyle Lovett. Just take a look at those lyrics and tell me it isn't amazing.
I quote: "If I had a boat, I'd go out on the ocean; and if I had a pony, I'd ride him on my boat."
I finally know what Julia Roberts saw in him.
...
...
Also, Holly... I've a favor. Can you see if you can't talk to people out there and get them to stop saying "Winner of (insert number) Golden Globe nominations" in advertisements. My ability to make analogies has abandoned me, but you know what's wrong with this.
If I had more energy I might do something clever here like throw together some kind of matching game where you try and figure out what insane book I bought goes to which brother... but I am conserving my energy for a day of rainslicked driving and possible caffeine highs and lows like nobody's business.
"Me up on my pony on my boat."
Merry christmas.
MUSIC: muppets: it feels like christmas
Tuesday, December 19, 2006
Saturday, December 16, 2006
"and god bless us, everyone."
Christmas is on the way, and Hanukkah is upon us. I feel now is the best time to encourage the whole world to:
A: consider giving someone the Frank Capra box set. If they don't like it, they don't know what they're talking about.
B: watch santa claus is coming to town and learn all the words to "first toymaker to the king."
C: Wash the rankin bass taste out of your mouth with the version of A Christmas Carol starting George C. Scott. (Or better yet, read it.)
D: Watch santa claus conquers the martians, but only if it's the mst3k version. Learn all the words to 'hooray for santa claus' (which is easy because they put the words on the screen over the odd series of colors and squiggles).
E: wash the terrible flavor of boppo's comic timing out of your mouth by caroling with 'a patrick swayze christmas' and 'father christmas' and 'marley and marley' and any of the sufjan stevens original christmas songs.
F: read this. it's festive in that it makes you smile. or laugh out loud at work and get odd looks from the secretaries.
G: watch at least one special christmas episode of futurama.
H: hear 'christmastime' by the smashing pumpkins and try not to shudder or blush. also, try not to let anyone see you smile.
MUSIC: smashing pumpkins: christmastime
A: consider giving someone the Frank Capra box set. If they don't like it, they don't know what they're talking about.
B: watch santa claus is coming to town and learn all the words to "first toymaker to the king."
C: Wash the rankin bass taste out of your mouth with the version of A Christmas Carol starting George C. Scott. (Or better yet, read it.)
D: Watch santa claus conquers the martians, but only if it's the mst3k version. Learn all the words to 'hooray for santa claus' (which is easy because they put the words on the screen over the odd series of colors and squiggles).
E: wash the terrible flavor of boppo's comic timing out of your mouth by caroling with 'a patrick swayze christmas' and 'father christmas' and 'marley and marley' and any of the sufjan stevens original christmas songs.
F: read this. it's festive in that it makes you smile. or laugh out loud at work and get odd looks from the secretaries.
G: watch at least one special christmas episode of futurama.
H: hear 'christmastime' by the smashing pumpkins and try not to shudder or blush. also, try not to let anyone see you smile.
MUSIC: smashing pumpkins: christmastime
Monday, December 11, 2006
I tried to take a picture of the skyline...
...but I completely botched that on account of driving while trying to take the picture. Plus my camera is pretty much crap. So if you want to see the Cincinnati Skyline, you'll have to come and visit (or take nine seconds out of your life to find a picture somewhere else... or... you know... look at the logo for skyline chili... whatever)
In lieu of that picture, which I attempted on a beautiful sunday afternoon after meeting Louisville, I have supplied a less sunny image.
Flurries in Cincinnati? Hot damn, we'd better drive slower than reason.
Also, it has been brought to my attention that at some point in the tenacious D picture, Jack Black prays to Ronnie James Dio. You may not be sold, but I am.
MUSIC: run dmc: christmas in hollis
In lieu of that picture, which I attempted on a beautiful sunday afternoon after meeting Louisville, I have supplied a less sunny image.
Flurries in Cincinnati? Hot damn, we'd better drive slower than reason.
Also, it has been brought to my attention that at some point in the tenacious D picture, Jack Black prays to Ronnie James Dio. You may not be sold, but I am.
MUSIC: run dmc: christmas in hollis
Wednesday, December 06, 2006
Saturday, December 02, 2006
Friday, December 01, 2006
today was apocalypse weather...
...and so the weekend begins.
Cincinnati was utterly friendly when first I made her my home. She had sunshine and unseasonably warm temperature and I didn't hurt for the fact that I had no coat.
Today started 60 degrees and cloudy and windy and ominous. The clouds whipped across the sky like the future in Terminator 2 and it looked dangerous and the leaves could not sit still.
I sat down at my desk and stowed my apple and got coffee and worked. I wrote questions about Asia and the Middle East between 1300 and 1800 for hours. I ate my apple. I reminisced about how poorly my first lasagna in the new place turned out. I started planning the new World War II maps. I had more coffee. I dug through the trash at one point (don't ask).
Outside my window the sky got darker and darker and by noon some sort of cruel almost-snow was tumbling from the sky. The temperature dropped 10 degrees an hour for those first 3 hours I was at work. The windows of the office fogged up as though everyone inside was up to something inappropriate.
Now I am thrilled that my father saw fit to get me a coat over thanksgiving.
A train on the B and O railroad held up my commute home by a bit. Today was the first day of December and the first day I've been paid for my labor.
I will eat more of my subpar lasagna.
MUSIC: regina spektor: december
Cincinnati was utterly friendly when first I made her my home. She had sunshine and unseasonably warm temperature and I didn't hurt for the fact that I had no coat.
Today started 60 degrees and cloudy and windy and ominous. The clouds whipped across the sky like the future in Terminator 2 and it looked dangerous and the leaves could not sit still.
I sat down at my desk and stowed my apple and got coffee and worked. I wrote questions about Asia and the Middle East between 1300 and 1800 for hours. I ate my apple. I reminisced about how poorly my first lasagna in the new place turned out. I started planning the new World War II maps. I had more coffee. I dug through the trash at one point (don't ask).
Outside my window the sky got darker and darker and by noon some sort of cruel almost-snow was tumbling from the sky. The temperature dropped 10 degrees an hour for those first 3 hours I was at work. The windows of the office fogged up as though everyone inside was up to something inappropriate.
Now I am thrilled that my father saw fit to get me a coat over thanksgiving.
A train on the B and O railroad held up my commute home by a bit. Today was the first day of December and the first day I've been paid for my labor.
I will eat more of my subpar lasagna.
MUSIC: regina spektor: december
Monday, November 06, 2006
It's official.
Before the end of the week, I will be among the lonesome, crowded west. Cincinnati is paying me to live there and work there and be there, and I will oblige.
I'm staying here long enough to vote and pack and then I'm gone.
I would write more but I have, as you can imagine, things to do.
"ain't no city like Cincinnati. Here we are in Utopia"
-Distillers: "Cincinnati"
I'm staying here long enough to vote and pack and then I'm gone.
I would write more but I have, as you can imagine, things to do.
"ain't no city like Cincinnati. Here we are in Utopia"
-Distillers: "Cincinnati"
Thursday, October 26, 2006
The birthday cycle ends today.
The ages are all in order again now: boys in a row, Johnson, Lorenz, 21-26.
Still no job, and the fair I wasted time at today will manage to keep me from seeing the decemberists in atlanta.
On the plus side....
MUSIC: calexico: accordian waltz
Still no job, and the fair I wasted time at today will manage to keep me from seeing the decemberists in atlanta.
On the plus side....
MUSIC: calexico: accordian waltz
Saturday, October 14, 2006
Do not trust street signs.
Despite what they may tell you, zombies are not, in fact, down. They are carrying the sign in a surprising display of tact considering how undead they are.
As the sun was starting to go down in asheville, dozens of these clever zombies made their way out from the Montford Park graveyard and made their way through downtown Asheville. Among them were at least two who inexplicably supported Charles Taylor (R. NC), possibly in a confused effort to weed out brainless people based on their political affiliations.
Luckily, the hearty immune systems of Jef Johnson and Peter Lorenz proved too much for the zombitude to fully conquer, and it seems that after some beer and vegetarian pizza and lots of french fries, the two young men got over their 'bout of the deads.'
Incidentally, Jef seems convinced that when he gets his film developed he will have far more and far better pictures of the carnage that ensued.
Braaaaaains!
MUSIC: built to spill: traces
As the sun was starting to go down in asheville, dozens of these clever zombies made their way out from the Montford Park graveyard and made their way through downtown Asheville. Among them were at least two who inexplicably supported Charles Taylor (R. NC), possibly in a confused effort to weed out brainless people based on their political affiliations.
Luckily, the hearty immune systems of Jef Johnson and Peter Lorenz proved too much for the zombitude to fully conquer, and it seems that after some beer and vegetarian pizza and lots of french fries, the two young men got over their 'bout of the deads.'
Incidentally, Jef seems convinced that when he gets his film developed he will have far more and far better pictures of the carnage that ensued.
Braaaaaains!
MUSIC: built to spill: traces
Thursday, September 28, 2006
"Guy in a skeleton costume...
...comes up to the guy in the superman suit... runs through him with a broadsword!"
Pasadena is apparently not happening, but tomorrow could bring a summons from Cincinnati. Barring that, I start monday at an unpleasant hotel position.
(Interview excerpt: "How do you feel about plunging toilets?")
Flickr is loaded with fresh new trespassing adventures starring Pete Lorenz which were accompanied by a recurring chorus of "The Cheat is not dead!" I am writing and keeping fingers crossed.
I accidentally bleached many things I should not have. Don't tell 50 cent that I ruined a pair of his jeans.
MUSIC: mountain goats: oceanographer's choice
Pasadena is apparently not happening, but tomorrow could bring a summons from Cincinnati. Barring that, I start monday at an unpleasant hotel position.
(Interview excerpt: "How do you feel about plunging toilets?")
Flickr is loaded with fresh new trespassing adventures starring Pete Lorenz which were accompanied by a recurring chorus of "The Cheat is not dead!" I am writing and keeping fingers crossed.
I accidentally bleached many things I should not have. Don't tell 50 cent that I ruined a pair of his jeans.
MUSIC: mountain goats: oceanographer's choice
Saturday, September 09, 2006
Friday, September 08, 2006
Thursday, September 07, 2006
The moon is allegedly full...
...but it's all a waste on this whole region. Somewhere behind the light pollution and thick, thick clouds, the summer's last full moon is hiding.
I could not find it.
I did find what I had initially imagined to be the bent knees of a napping, plastic-pantsed giant. On further consideration it proved to resemble a pair of oversized gravestones, possibly for novelty purposes or serious, serious mourning.
I also found an odd sense of nostalgia walking by my old high school and recalling, years before I actually attended, how it felt to walk around what I now laughingly call 'the campus.' I remember the awe of separate buildings and the majesty and tranquility of a little gravel footpath around behind the gym. I remember more recently and, I fear, more accurately, how that path was actually as close to a skid row or hell's kitchen as rural North Carolina high school's get.
I also found a strong and growing desire for an excuse to wear one of my shiny new suits.
MUSIC: badly drawn boy: easy love
I could not find it.
I did find what I had initially imagined to be the bent knees of a napping, plastic-pantsed giant. On further consideration it proved to resemble a pair of oversized gravestones, possibly for novelty purposes or serious, serious mourning.
I also found an odd sense of nostalgia walking by my old high school and recalling, years before I actually attended, how it felt to walk around what I now laughingly call 'the campus.' I remember the awe of separate buildings and the majesty and tranquility of a little gravel footpath around behind the gym. I remember more recently and, I fear, more accurately, how that path was actually as close to a skid row or hell's kitchen as rural North Carolina high school's get.
I also found a strong and growing desire for an excuse to wear one of my shiny new suits.
MUSIC: badly drawn boy: easy love
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