Monday, February 26, 2007

"Oscar-winning screenwriter Ben Affleck."

okay... I think I'm good.
ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha

I'm okay now.

Seriously, though. Next year I hope they tack on "and star of Daredevil,"

Having watched the man win an oscar, I still find myself with an unexplainable distaste for Forest Whitaker. Certainly this has a lot to do with having seen Phenomenon, Battlefield Earth, and Phone Booth, but even in the good movies I've seen him in, I still never got hip to the man. Interviews and acceptance speeches and anything else I've seen public speaking-wise hasn't swayed me, either.

I'm not saying he's not a good actor, but I am saying that so far, from what I've seen (and I admit to not having seen Ghost Dog or The Last King of Scotland), he hasn't managed to show me anything that overcomes my inexplicable distaste for Mr. Whitaker.

I also have a lot of dislike for Bill Condon, but this is, I think, entirely splicable. Gods and Monsters was cool and all... but between Chicago and Dream Girls all your street cred is long spent.

Also I would like to point out that Al Gore could win a Nobel Prize in addition to his Oscar. Anyone see that coming back when he was guest spotting on Futurama offering a bag of moon sapphires?

Other related commentary includes radically disapproving of the reduction in pomp. Certainly it would be great if they kept things low key and unfunny (Ellen!) and managed to bring the thing to an end in two hours, but if it's going to be a four hour fiasco anyway, let's have some goddamn fireworks. Also, maybe next year you save the Will Ferrell/Jack Black/John C. Reilly number for another hour or two... you tipped your hand, tiresome awards show. And one final note: flesh tone dresses? seriously?

Next year's best actor category is already developing. I predict a three way split between Daniel Day-Lewis in "There Will be Blood," and Jack Nicholson and Morgan Freeman for "The Bucket List," which will clear the way for Nicholas Cage to get #2 for "Ghost Rider."

There will be a time when "Oscar winning actor Nicholas Cage" will sound as stupid as the Ben Affleck bit. I thought we got past this with the Vampire's Kiss.

MUSIC: clap your hands say yeah!: in this home on ice

P.S. I really didn't think we'd gotten past this, Nick... I just wanted to bring up the vampire's kiss, you scenery chewing woman punching bear, you.

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