Friday, February 15, 2008

15 February 2008

You boys like Mexico?!


The Spiderwick Chronicles: Arachnids are used to melt wax. Not Original

Definitely, Maybe: Perhaps, possibly... did you say Ryan Reynolds? Abso-fucking-lutely not. Original

Step Up 2 Da Streets: Because tru thugz h8 titles without numberz. Not Orignal

Jumper: Atrocious wig. Also, no emperor/Obi Wan to kill/mangle Samuel/Hayden. Based on a novel (!) Not Original


Diary of the Dead: Sort of a BlairWitcherfield of the Living Dead. Not Original

Jodhaa Akbar: My Star Wars joke quota has been reached for the week. This is about an Indian Ruler. Not Original

Genghis Khan: To the Ends of the Earth and Sea: The title would have been shorter if it weren't for Pirates. Not Original

Vexille: Animated film built around the absurd premise that by 2077 U.N. weapons inspectors will be worth a damn. Original

The Caretaker: "A group of teenage boys out to give their girlfriends a good scare on Homecoming night, which also happens to be Halloween, head to an abandoned house in an out-of-the-way grapefruit orchard where they uncover the story of a real life urban legend, known as The Caretaker" -- OFFICIAL WEBSITE The part of this that's original is "grapefruit orchard" and "Caretaker." This is horror film as madlib. (I mean this in the least positive way possible) original

the Score:

week: 3-6
year: 36-12


week: 1-3
year: 12-10

Note: I am sure that the movie about Akbar or the movie about Genghis Khan are not only better, but more original in their execution and storytelling than The Caretaker. The two former films, however, are retellings of history while the latter is a nominally original waste of celluloid.

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