Friday, July 18, 2008

18 July 2008

"They may be drinkers, Robin, but they're still human beings." - Batman: The Movie

Wide:

The Dark Knight:
You saw the last one. It'll be way better than Batman & Robin. Not original

Mamma Mia: Everybody likes Abba! And Meryl Streep has never been more popular. And, really, who doesn't love Stellan Skarsgaard? Oh, well he was in Dogville. He was the guy with the orchard. Right, the first one to... Hey! Where're you going?! Not original

Space Chimps: It's like that sketch from the Muppet Show that was tolerably funny for ten minutes, except that it's 90 minutes. Also, it replaces pigs with monkeys. Also, it cost 40 million dollars. Original

Limited:

Before I Forget: It's French and autobiographical. Oh, and gay. Jaques Nolot. He's very big... Look, the French are paying for it. Fine. Original

Felon: We got Val Kilmer all method-ed out and in jail, and he's probably going to wail on or take under his wing the new fish guy... I dunno, I didn't really read it. But Stephen Dorff is on board, and it's an indie, so everybody's working for peanuts. Original

The Legend of God's Gun: I know that quirky's out and that westerns are dead, but... well... it's a quirky western. Hey, it takes place in a town called Playa Diablo! Maybe we can muddy the waters and trick some people into thinking it's connected with Juno! That picture made buttloads. Original

Lou Reed's Berlin: Julian Schnabel and Lou Reed. Original

Mad Detective: Get this, it's a rookie cop teamed up with an insane cop! Imagine what we could do with the rights, Mel Gibson, and Shia Lebeouf. Original

Transsiberian: It's basically Murder on the Orient Express, but on a Trans-Siberian passenger train. Original

Very British Gangster: I know what you're thinking, but Ben Kingsley's not involved. This is a documentary. Original

the score

week: 8-2
year: 174-78

wide:

week: 1-2
year: 39-39

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

hey jef johnson. a funny thing happened on the way to the forum, and I confess it might have involved googling your name. i can't fully explain the circumstances surrounding this embarrassing admission, but i expect it involved equal parts makers' mark (oh jesus, but bourbon is wonderful) and guilt. oh, to be catholic! at least then the combination might seem comforting and familiar. at any rate, this is rachel sims, who has historically not been very nice to anyone, not even herself. something entertaining? now she works at mission hospital as an ICU nurse, where no one is nice to her. who says there is no cosmic justice? i was amused by my own life choices, felt obligated to share the irony. there you have it. rachel.

p.s. janerachelsims@yahoo.com, if you are so inclined.

Anonymous said...

p.s. also, have sort of a lesbian crush on sophia coppola (or at least her movies, negating "marie antoinette"), so kudos on the name. excellent indie rock choice for naming your blog (I bet no one's ever said THAT before).

notroberttowne said...

The best part is that the product is, I'm convinced, actually Sundory.