Friday, May 23, 2008

23 May 2008

"I've got more trophies than Wayne Gretzky and the Pope combined."

wide:

Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull: The empire strikes back. Not original

limited:

Postal: Based on that video game you probably forgot. (Note: apparently this was supposed to be a wide release until theater owners stopped being completely retarded.) Not original

War, Inc.: Being called the unofficial sequel to Grosse Point Blank does not make it so. Scorpions. Original

Children of Huang Shi: Epic Chinese love story... starring the guy from The Tudors and the girl from Silent Hill. I know. Original

A Jihad for Love: Curiously named documentary about gay and lesbian Muslims. I keep thinking of the scene in Team America where the actor threatens to declare a jihad on anyone who makes him angry, and then I feel terrible. Original

Dalai Lama Renaissance: Harrison Ford narrates a documentary about the Dalai Lama (and probably a noun of an adjective noun). Original

The Edge of Heaven: Bizarre translation of a German film literally called "from the other side." Original

Insidious: Young writer/director makes a movie about a young writer/director. Original


the score:

week: 6-2
year: 127-57

wide:

week: 0-1
year: 31-29

(note: Postal not only isn't getting the wide release that Uwe was somehow able to dupe people into agreeing to, but it also doesn't contain the footage of him having fistfights with his critics. alas)

2 comments:

Plaid Avenger said...

The trailer for Postal was worse than Battlefield Earth.

the proprietor... said...

More trivia: Postal was written by Uwe, and he acts in it, too. This doubles his threat level from double to quadruple, or roughly from 'as threatening as a water balloon' to 'as threatening as two water balloons.' Also, if you tell him so, he will want to fight you.