- The three eldest brothers of the Johnson-Lorenz family merger were going to make a journey to move. The truck was going to cost 300 bucks.
- 2nd and 3rd eldest got goddamn wrecked into at 1 a.m. friday morning. Jackass was speeding and swerved into them along with 2nd's lady and crushed the wheel well like nobody's business. 2nd could no longer go on trip, and all three stood around blocking traffic until 2:30 a.m.
- 1st showed up Saturday afternoon. Truck actually cost 500 bucks.
- 1st and 3rd drove to Cincinnati where there was an e-mail waiting to tell them that this incredibly expensive truck was not available at any of the dozens of U-haul locations in Cincinnati and so they would have to drive the next morning to Verona fucking Kentucky.
- The drive from Cincinnati to Baltimore took approximately 1 million years longer than it should have. The duo was forced to stop for the night.
- Tired of fast food, the pair arrived at Denny's (not much better, I know) at 10:25 to see a sign posted in the window that explained that, starting at 10, Denny's would not be serving food aside from dessert and salad until the morning.
- Cursing, the pair headed for Taco Bell
- Taco Bell was closed
- McDonald's was repeatedly informed that they should make sure to give plenty of sweet and sour sauce
- Back at the hotel, it is discovered that no sweet and sour sauce was given
- There was no parking in Baltimore
- The previous tenant of the apartment had not moved out
- Not comfortable with moving stuff into an apartment that was still full of someone else's stuff, 3rd and 1st angrily sought to get storage and be done with it.
- The U-haul location did not exist.
- The other U-Haul location gave one month in a storage unit for free.
- That last bit was actually good news. Savor.
- The drive back which should have taken 8 hours took 11.
- Alien abduction
- The Crushanator
- Cell phone service must be replaced. Good, because I'm made of money.
- 28 hours in a car
- smashing pumpkins in Asheville... sold out.
Wednesday, May 23, 2007
Update: gypsy curse
Bullets again... can't think... so angry...