Friday, July 25, 2008

25 July 2008

"Are you serious?" "Almost always. I was once voted the worst audience participant Cirque Du Soleil ever had."


X-Files: I Want to Believe: I do too, but the reviews are not good. Not original

Step Brothers: Remember Talladega Nights? Well, someone really, really wants to remind you. Original


American Teen: Guess what this documentary's about. Original

Return to Normandy: Another obviously titled documentary, but the title action is for the purpose of finding people involved in an earlier documentary rather than the assumed World War II reasons. Original

Boy A: Out of prison after serving a juvenile murder sentence, Jack gets confused about his radiohead references. Not original

Brideshead Revisited: "Evelyn Waugh was a man." Not original

CSNY Deja Vu: That's "Crosby, Stills, Nash, and Young" not some sort of obscure New York crime unit. Original

Man on Wire: That's three for three with the obviously titled documentaries. Original

The Order of Myths: Mardi Gras in Mobile, Alabama. Original

Red 71: The plot synopsis makes it sound decent enough, but then you notice that the plot synopsis was written by the director. Original

the score:

week: 7-3
year: 181-81


week: 1-1
year: 40-40

Friday, July 18, 2008

18 July 2008

"They may be drinkers, Robin, but they're still human beings." - Batman: The Movie


The Dark Knight:
You saw the last one. It'll be way better than Batman & Robin. Not original

Mamma Mia: Everybody likes Abba! And Meryl Streep has never been more popular. And, really, who doesn't love Stellan Skarsgaard? Oh, well he was in Dogville. He was the guy with the orchard. Right, the first one to... Hey! Where're you going?! Not original

Space Chimps: It's like that sketch from the Muppet Show that was tolerably funny for ten minutes, except that it's 90 minutes. Also, it replaces pigs with monkeys. Also, it cost 40 million dollars. Original


Before I Forget: It's French and autobiographical. Oh, and gay. Jaques Nolot. He's very big... Look, the French are paying for it. Fine. Original

Felon: We got Val Kilmer all method-ed out and in jail, and he's probably going to wail on or take under his wing the new fish guy... I dunno, I didn't really read it. But Stephen Dorff is on board, and it's an indie, so everybody's working for peanuts. Original

The Legend of God's Gun: I know that quirky's out and that westerns are dead, but... well... it's a quirky western. Hey, it takes place in a town called Playa Diablo! Maybe we can muddy the waters and trick some people into thinking it's connected with Juno! That picture made buttloads. Original

Lou Reed's Berlin: Julian Schnabel and Lou Reed. Original

Mad Detective: Get this, it's a rookie cop teamed up with an insane cop! Imagine what we could do with the rights, Mel Gibson, and Shia Lebeouf. Original

Transsiberian: It's basically Murder on the Orient Express, but on a Trans-Siberian passenger train. Original

Very British Gangster: I know what you're thinking, but Ben Kingsley's not involved. This is a documentary. Original

the score

week: 8-2
year: 174-78


week: 1-2
year: 39-39

Friday, July 11, 2008

11 July 2008

"I am an American aquarium drinker..."

Another week missed. Here we go.

last week wide:

Hancock: Every time a movie title is the main character's last name, the first name is John. It is probably not an absolute rule, but it's close (Shaft, Constantine, Rambo, etc...). Original

Kitt Kittridge: An American Girl: Sequel to the underperforming Helga Hoffstadt: Eine East German Madchen. Not Original

last week limited:

Gonzo: The Life and Work of Hunter Thompson: Documentary. Original

The Wackness: Ben Kingsley makes out with an Olsen and rocks the ganj. What's not to like? Original

Diminished Capacity: Another week, another Matthew Broderick movie. Original

Holding Trevor: "They’re embarrassing America! They turned the Navy into a floating joke. They ruined all our best names like Bruce, and Lance, and Julian. Those were the toughest names we had!" Now even our gerund-name titles aren't safe! Original

Very Young Girls: Documentary about the title people and prostitution.. Original

last weeks score:

week: 6-1
year: 160-69


week: 1-1
year: 37-35

This week wide:

Hellboy II: The Golden Army: It's nice to see Ron Perlman doing something other than absorbing Beauty and the Beast living-in-the-sewer jokes. Not original

Journey to the Center of the Earth: Encino Man will finally get to face dinosaurs. Not original

Meet Dave: Even keeping The Love Guru in mind, this looks like the worst comedy of the summer (ever?). Original

This week limited:

Another Gay Sequel: Gays Gone Wild: IMDB plot outline: "Andy, Nico, Jarod and Griff reunite in Fort Lauderdale for Spring Break and participate in a contest called "Gays Gone Wild" to determine who can attain the most "buttlove" over the course of the vacation." Not original

August: Takes place in August 2001, but something tells me it's going to leak over into the first, say, dozen days of the next month. Original

Days and Clouds: Italian film. Original

Death Defying Acts: Guy Pearce as Harry Houdini. I'm in. Not original

Eight Miles High: (German) Sex, Drugs, and Rock and Roll! Not original

Full Battle Rattle: The Iraq simulation in California gets documentaried. Original

Garden Party: Another Los Angeles movie about how mundane and bleak it is in Hollywood. (not really but technically) Original

Harold: It's funny because Har-old has Old man Hair... get it? The kid's bald. See? Hilarious. Original

La France: World War I... the musical! Not original

The Stone Angel: Old lady = stone angel! Not original

This weeks scores

week: 6-7
year: 166-76


week: 1-2
year: 38-37