I asked my sandwich wrapper...

my sandwich wrapper has excellent taste in music
Originally uploaded by Vocal Shrapnel.

...to name a really, really great band, and this is what it had to say.

Sunday night Shleeve went and bought a whole lot of horrible, disgusting tamarind candy. With it we went to Little Venice and had an endurance trial. To the victor goes the Darth Tater. Pictures on Flickr.

I bought reels and paper today. My wallet has a dollar in it.

MUSIC: the mountain goats: dance music

"somewhere through a thousand dreams...

...a dragonfly descends with just a whisper, 'i'm lonlier than god,'..."

Ladies and gentleman, college is a bust. Seventh floor room with one working fan. Shleeve and I went to Wal-mart, the only store in town, to get another, and they were sold out. Good planning, Walton family. Thanks a lot.

So photography will cost a fortune, and my old job, near as I can tell, doesn't exist. None of my other classes are worth mentioning for anything. My film class is dropped due to the incredible jack-ass-pretention (sp) of the professor.

I fucking dare you to look on IMDB under Jack Sholder and tell me if this guy has the right to assume that, since he's clearly in possession of all movie knowledge, no one else can possibly have any. Trying to bribe people to do the class work with an autographed copy of your magnum opus Nightmare on Elm Street II after insulting their intelligence nonstop for three hours and keeping them forty minutes late just doesn't fly, buddy.

So life's a bowl of cherries. and women still largely hate me.

send lawyers, guns and money.

MUSIC: mountain goats: something here will eventually have to explode

Thanks, Nate.

Jesse must be appeased!

Up close
Originally uploaded by Vocal Shrapnel.

with an update.

I went to work for my last dress-up night and forgot to charge the camera before hand... so I got about five pictures worth using rather than the twenty-odd I had intended.

This is Malcolm. He was my boss, and more importantly he is my homie. Following the link will take you to other homies of mine in the A-ville vicinity.

So the bad news is that I got my package return to sendered and I'm furious. So should you be, Mr. Malcovsky. I have some kind of postal service curse, but I'm UPSing it tomorrow. Also, classes start on Wednesday, which is bad news only in so far as I'm registered for a bunch of whack shit and have to move in between then and now.

The good news, however, is that I'm no longer a waiter, and in the impending days I'll be able to develop all my Europe pictures.

The next few days will be harrowing and obnoxious, but after that, I'll be back in the college swing of things, and that will be swell.

In a related story, all my czech compatriots should go to www.budvar.cz and download the screensaver. It's like drinking an ice cold budvar every time your screensaver is activated, except it's with your eyes and doesn't get you drunk or make you sing.

MUSIC: oh canada

Past life?

In a Past Life...

You Were: A Genius Poet. Where You Lived: Spain. How You Died: Dysentery.

Who Were You In a Past Life?

"the delicate balance has shifted...

...Put on your gloves and your black pumps: let's pretend the fog has lifted. Now you see me, now you don't. Now you say you love me; pretty soon you won't. If we get our full three score and ten we won't pass this way again, so kiss me with your mouth. Turn the tire's toward the street and stay sweet."

Tonight the fog is zombie-movie thick and I am not dead. congested and overworked and underpaid and less than thrilled, yes, but alive.

The pressure on the sinuses doesn't help the general other pressures about. No one is being ignored save my computer. Andrew, it seems the pathetic package I sent has gotten lost in the mail. I'm rather used to that happening, but I have a better one about to ship, and there are copies of all the cds that were in the first contained therein.

Jesse, schedules permitting I'll see you soon, but schedules don't permit so much lately.

My brain wants out of my head.

"get me away I'm dying."

MUSIC: the mountain goats: Dilaudid

"I'm maladjusted and clever...

...the greatest Smiths fan ever."

It apparently helps me to post when I'm left alone and seem to have developed a hatred of television.

Everyone pirate casiotone for the painfully alone. If you can, buy the cds, but odds are you can't. if you want a sample, send me a mailing address.

So Saturday I orchestrated dress up day, and we all looked great at Little Venice. I made a lot. It was intended to impress a girl who doesn't like me. Chicks hate me, for future reference.

Tonight was MST3K and I'm the last man standing. Being 6'3 200lbs comes in handy arguably.

MUSIC: casiotone for the painfully alone: toby take a bow

look, it's my eye!

look, it's my eye!
Originally uploaded by Vocal Shrapnel.

Holy crap has it ever been a long time since I posted... Here's the story in brief. my car exploded a lot, I partied too much, hurricanes hit, I got contacts.

This is a picture of my eye as taken by a terrifying machine at a place called Tunnel Vision. They gave me contacts. God gave me astigmatism, so now I worship Tunnel Vision. all hail.

Oak Ridge kids, if I haven't exhausted your patience... if you still, in fact, read this thing, I'm coming. I'm thinking Tuesday maybe... we'll see how the schedule goes.

And of course I may get trampled at the street festival this weekend.

MUSIC: aimee mann: save me

Pittsburgh: City of Lost Children!

Pittsburgh
Originally uploaded by Vocal Shrapnel.

I'm back! And there are pictures up and I'll update and it'll be awesome... but right now the pictures are as awesome as it gets.

And, this is key, and it's for Jesse. Driving back I was listening to the Mountain Goats... it was dope, but I was tired. So I switched over to a CD I had burned that started with Hip Hop Phenomenon. Within one minute of the cd switch, we passed the Girls Gone Wild "party bus."

It's all in the soundtrack. welcome back to the states, sir.

"breathe into my hand...

...I'll cup it like a glass to drink from..."

That quote is connected to my post somehow. Watch for it, I'll get there eventually.

So Friday at noon family shows up. That kid looming over the cake in the picture below... He's one of 'em. Already young kids mean not getting to sleep until noon, right? So On top of that I've got double shifts all weekend. Lots of fun, huh? So here's where my ass gets kicked:

Saturday is Pete's birthday. I work until 10, and I know Pete has to get up for work at 5. So to save time and allow him a little more sleep, I have this brilliant idea of buying lots of beer and wine and taking it home to drink there. But Pete doesn't know. So Malcolm and I decide to go get him at his other work... but first we have to get rid of those beers we opened. Beer number three for each of us is gone in under a minute, and off we go.

At the other restaurant, the Grape Escape, the owner of Little Venice (where Malcolm and I work) offers to buy us drinks. we accept, but we have to drink fast. Really fast. The night continues a pace and I go to work at 11 the next morning.

That night is Doug's last night. We go out for drinks... we buy a bunch more and go home. Repeat process but add Doug and MST3K dvds.

I go into work at noon after two nights of drinking until 5. I was partied out.

Now, tonight I saw Romero's latest zombie masterpiece. Well... it's not. a masterpiece, I mean. There're some sweet zombie scenes, but it's a little depressing when the best developed character in a movie is among the undead.

But there was a brief lesbian scene in the film, and the song quoted earlier is from a much longer lesbian scene in the seminal lesbian film But I'm a Cheerleader. Check it out... I told you it related.

MUSIC: trembling blue stars: letter never sent

This is a knife!

This is a knife!
Originally uploaded by Vocal Shrapnel.

Goddamn weekend. Partied out.

MUSIC: joan of arc: a party able model of

Who wants wings?

P1000132
Originally uploaded by Vocal Shrapnel.

look at this picture and revel in it's vileness... and then go look at pictures from Shleeve's birthday. I switched over to Flickr because it's prettier and therefore better... just like Pete.

"destination venus,

..more than darkness lies between us -- twenty million miles of weakness... human bleakness..."

So my ass hasn't been kicked like this in a movie theater since Undertow.

All right, so it's taken over a month, but by god I have pictures up from Brno. The limited number of albums I'm given forces me to consolidate, so go here and look past the first ten or so. it starts with a lovely sunset... then it gets less lovely. Everyone was a little intoxicated and... well.. thank god I was holding the camera.

So I'm going to pittsburg for some absurd reason on the third. Someone's having a cookout that I'll miss. It's a crime.

In other news, the gout is mad in check. I'm not supposed to hear from it again for something like a decade if I keep up with the running around and eating nothing good.

And pretty soon somebody's gonna be... somewhere... um... I think maybe there should be... I dunno... an epic party or something. I am the master of subtilty...

and spelling.

MUSIC: the reindeer section: sting

holy crap! If you've noticed, the Corey Feldman link doesn't work, but type it in and check it out. This is just one example of the treasures buried there. 

"we're not so great...

...cause we're of normal height..."

I promise a real post will be here as soon as my computer stops being an ass, but for now, I just had to say that I only just noticed what I'm linked as on Jess's page.

totally sweet.

Look, A package from Malcovsky... what could be in it...? 

A Super Troopers bottle opener?! I'm the coolest kid on the block now! 

I bought this thing, so it's getting test run on Pete's self portrait from back in the day. 

look at me cave in to peer pressure

Your #1 Match: INTP

The Thinker You are analytical and logical - and on a quest to learn everything you can. Smart and complex, you always love a new intellectual challenge. Your biggest pet peeve is people who slow you down with trivial chit chat. A quiet maverick, you tend to ignore rules and authority whenever you feel like it. You would make an excellent mathematician, programmer, or professor.

Your #2 Match: ENTP

The Visionary You are charming, outgoing, friendly. You make a good first impression. You possess good negotiating skills and can convince anyone of anything. Happy to be the center of attention, you love to tell stories and show off. You're very clever, but not disciplined enough to do well in structured environments. You would make a great entrpreneur, marketing executive, or actor.

Your #3 Match: INFP

The Idealist You are creative with a great imagination, living in your own inner world. Open minded and accepting, you strive for harmony in your important relationships. It takes a long time for people to get to know you. You are hesitant to let people get close. But once you care for someone, you do everything you can to help them grow and develop. You would make an excellent writer, psychologist, or artist.

What's Your Personality Type?

"the reports of my death...

...have been greatly exaggerated."

But I am finding myself somewhat unwilling to use the computer for anything other than the assloads of typing I've been doing.

My room is tiny, but it won't get clean. I deposited my first check today. I shaved and I washed clothes.

We have new, all black uniforms at work. I think it's creepy, but it seems to work well. So Saturday, being a big night usually, I bust out my new black gothic over the top shirt. It's a little shiny, and striped and has cuffs with cufflinks. That and a tastefully gold tie. I was well dressed, far be it from me to claim to have been looking good, but I was well dressed...

And I made next to nothing.

The best I got was a pair of gay stereotypes eying me and asking if everyone was supposed to be wearing a tie or if I was "just a freak or something?" Like, OMG.

But seriously...

My stepbrother called me around nine and told me it was an emergency. I took the phone outside beginning to be concerned, and he said he desperately needed to know what movie to rent. Asshole.

I told him real genius, and he got it, but he also got the 5 obstructions, so we watched that until he and our guest started to fall asleep. Two Obstructions down. Bring it on, Lars Von Trier.

MUSIC: viva voce - let's bend light